JC Darling

Just make casual conversation and try to keep your eyes off my chest... Careful, for every homosexual you ignore, God will punish you with another wrinkle! 😱

[JC Darling @Vodka_Rainbows]

Being inappropriate
#WhatImGoodAt

[JC Darling @Vodka_Rainbows]

#WhyICantTalkToMyEx

Because that bitch cray

[JC Darling @Vodka_Rainbows]

#ReasonsToLoveMe

Because I said so?

[JC Darling @Vodka_Rainbows]

#WeHaveToPartWaysIf you try to develop any of that emotion nonsense.

[JC Darling @Vodka_Rainbows]

#myONEresolution is to fulfill my previously ignored resolutions

[JC Darling @Vodka_Rainbows]

My boyfriend says that he's not cheating... but that bastard comes home smelling of toaster pastries!
#latenightthoughts

[JC Darling @Vodka_Rainbows]

#IfIWereAFoodOrDrink I would be labeled "toxic"

[JC Darling @Vodka_Rainbows]

#WhateverYouDoDont wish me a merry Christmas... I'm getting sick of it.

[JC Darling @Vodka_Rainbows]

#SantaHasABadFeelingAbout this heat. His Velvet sweatpants don't breath very well.

[JC Darling @Vodka_Rainbows]

Grandma Got Railed By A Raindear
#RuinAHolidayFilm

[JC Darling @Vodka_Rainbows]

What do you mean your Christmas gifts were purchased with a budget in mind!?
#ItsADealBreaker

[JC Darling @Vodka_Rainbows]

#WhyImGettingCoal can be boiled down to the fact that I'm a monster.

[JC Darling @Vodka_Rainbows]

#SantaOnceToldMe good girls go to heaven but bad girls go everywhere...

[JC Darling @Vodka_Rainbows]

#ReasonsToLieToKids

I need a reason?

[JC Darling @Vodka_Rainbows]

Less vodka, more success.
#My4WordNewYearsResolution

[JC Darling @Vodka_Rainbows]

The woman who sold me a mink.
#peoplewhomademy2016

[JC Darling @Vodka_Rainbows]

"I don't care what the hell you're the ghost of, I'm not following you into a time vortex!"
#ScroogeChristmasCarols

[JC Darling @Vodka_Rainbows]

#WhenHavingSexDontSay bake my potatoes

[JC Darling @Vodka_Rainbows]

Dear Diary,
The world keeps changing me because of children's poor self-image. Why can't I be accepted as I am? #MusingsFromBarbiesDiary

[JC Darling @Vodka_Rainbows]

Unattractive children making a scene on the line to see Santa. #ThingsYouCantIgnore

[JC Darling @Vodka_Rainbows]

The words "anything is possible" have never been more true.
#UpsideOf2016