Voldetort the Hermann Tortoise

Voldetort, tort’in since 2018. moved in with the human 10/04/2022, the human is obsessed.

[Voldetort the Hermann Tortoise @Voldetort18]

It’s been a hot minute, but I’m still here #voldetort #hermannstortoise

[Voldetort the Hermann Tortoise @Voldetort18]

Human couldn’t spot me at first. I like to keep her on her toes, I hear when they hit their early 30s they “loose the plot” …. Whatever that means

[Voldetort the Hermann Tortoise @Voldetort18]

The human did a lot of moving around yesterday and now I have this massive new enclosure. The human cried because I look small. She doesn’t realise I am obviously the king in this house and I don’t need her tears #voldetort #hermanntortoise

[Voldetort the Hermann Tortoise @Voldetort18]

The human is beyond irritating, I am not amused #voldetort #tortoise #hermanntortoise #Voldetortthehermanntortoise

[Voldetort the Hermann Tortoise @Voldetort18]

Errrr myyyyy gawdddddd dandi leaves! First time the human has let me out in what feels like a life time…. Maybe if I “feed her to the fish” I may get released sooner #Voldetort #hermanntortoise #happytortoise #Voldetortthehermanntortoise

[Voldetort the Hermann Tortoise @Voldetort18]

I refuse to let the human take photos of me anymore without there being snacks involved #Voldetort #Voldetortthehermanntortoise #tortoise #hermannstortoise

[Voldetort the Hermann Tortoise @Voldetort18]

The human has not tried to measure me yet but I can hear her mumbling about something called a tape measure to use in the morning? If she does this I deserve carrot yes? Carrot is my fav! Poss some dandies too???

[Voldetort the Hermann Tortoise @Voldetort18]

The human was weird today and put me in a bowl??? Now she is on something called the Google to see if 196grams is a good weight for me! I am 4! Surely she is being too obsessive??? #voldetort #hermanntortoise #tortoise #voldetortthetortoise

[Voldetort the Hermann Tortoise @Voldetort18]

The human has Covid. So I thought I would cheer her up by making my food into Art. I call it “the salad that came to die” #Voldetort #hermanntortoise #Voldetortthehermanntortoise #food #thesaladthatcametodie

[Voldetort the Hermann Tortoise @Voldetort18]

The human has now learned to feed me on demand, all I need to do is hit the wall near the food bowl. Training is going well, soon she will be under my control and I can take my place as ruler of the house #voldetortthetortoise #tortoise #hermanntortoise

[Voldetort the Hermann Tortoise @Voldetort18]

Very amusing, 10/10 would recommend to others

[Voldetort the Hermann Tortoise @Voldetort18]

@BigAlSays The human found this hilarious , I also find it amusing 🌼

[Voldetort the Hermann Tortoise @Voldetort18]

Mayhaps I’m a little excited for food things #Voldetort #Voldetortthehermantortoise #tortoise #happytortoise

[Voldetort the Hermann Tortoise @Voldetort18]

@divatort60 I don’t understand why I can’t eat it????

[Voldetort the Hermann Tortoise @Voldetort18]

The human let me roam the big room…… this isn’t grass tho? #Voldetort #Voldetortthehermanntortoise #hermanntortoise #tortoise

[Voldetort the Hermann Tortoise @Voldetort18]

@pedals121 You look very handsome Albie! 🐢

[Voldetort the Hermann Tortoise @Voldetort18]

Day 17 of living with the human. Have decided to pretend to be a rock so she will leave me alone. Mission report-failed. Gonna dig a hole and hide 🐢 #Voldetort #Voldetortthehermanntortoise

[Voldetort the Hermann Tortoise @Voldetort18]

Fresh food and water? I don’t think so! It obviously needs me to walk all over them to make them suitably mucky 🐢 #Voldetort #Voldetortthehermanntortoise

[Voldetort the Hermann Tortoise @Voldetort18]

@hr_jeans This is a fantastic idea, the human shall be informed immediately

[Voldetort the Hermann Tortoise @Voldetort18]

I am getting tired of the human taking photos of me 😐🐢 #Voldetortthehermanntortoise #Voldetort