Maybe: Jacki Von Preysing

Just a self proclaimed “slightly-above-average” witchy-poo who give birds the right of way.

[Maybe: Jacki Von Preysing @VonJacki]

I just want to be haunted by ghosts, not my past

[Maybe: Jacki Von Preysing @VonJacki]

Moments in bathrooms take up more of my core memories than I’m comfortable with.

[Maybe: Jacki Von Preysing @VonJacki]

Got carded at the grocery store by a young man who, after looking at my birthdate said “I thought you looked young....but....” —— so turns out keeping my youth with a center part only works til the kids do the math....

[Maybe: Jacki Von Preysing @VonJacki]

I’m gonna need someone more talented than I to cover “Jolene” as “Vaccine” stat. @DollyParton is a treasure.

https://t.co/Wi1icEd77U

[Maybe: Jacki Von Preysing @VonJacki]

@mrisque I feel the need to yell DO IT at you on all platforms.

[Maybe: Jacki Von Preysing @VonJacki]

I’m ending my night sticky and disappointed...this is the most normal I’ve felt since March.

[Maybe: Jacki Von Preysing @VonJacki]

My knockoff AirPods frequently cut out and I think they’re lightly shocking me...but I keep using them. This pattern of behavior also explains a lot of my adult relationships.

My therapist would call this a breakthrough. I call it a reason to drink too early on a Monday.

[Maybe: Jacki Von Preysing @VonJacki]

@SlyFoxLA Which one did you get though?

[Natasha Rothwell @natasharothwell]

Breonna Taylor's killers are still walking free.
Breonna Taylor's killers are still walking free.
Breonna Taylor's killers are still walking free.
Breonna Taylor's killers are still walking free.
Breonna Taylor's killers are still walking free.

[Oversight Dems @OversightDems]

#BreonnaTaylor. Don’t forget her.

Shot EIGHT times while she was asleep in her bed on March 13 when the police broke into the wrong home.

It’s now JUNE, and the officers involved STILL haven’t been fired or charged.

We demand #JusticeforBre. #SayHerName

[caitie delaney @caitiedelaney]

If you’re more scandalized by seeing people loot a Target than seeing cops kill a man in broad daylight it’s time to start investigating why that is

[Maybe: Jacki Von Preysing @VonJacki]

I’m glad we’re wearing masks. People can’t see that I’m smiling at them, so they don’t spark a conversation . I feel so free.

[Maybe: Jacki Von Preysing @VonJacki]

@JLRees This is amazing news

[Maybe: Jacki Von Preysing @VonJacki]

@Felkdawg

[Maybe: Jacki Von Preysing @VonJacki]

@Felkdawg IT IS WONDERFUL

[Maybe: Jacki Von Preysing @VonJacki]

I allowed my google calendar to continue to remind me of a trip I’m not on, which in turn, reminds me of the sex I’m not having.

The feeling in my gut everytime an alert pops up makes me feel alive.

Deeply depressed and unbelievably horny...But alive.

[Maybe: Jacki Von Preysing @VonJacki]

@JoriSaurus @JLRees

[Maybe: Jacki Von Preysing @VonJacki]

I feel fine about everything

[Maybe: Jacki Von Preysing @VonJacki]

@SlyFoxLA My only hustle

[Maybe: Jacki Von Preysing @VonJacki]

@mrisque It upsets me.

[Maybe: Jacki Von Preysing @VonJacki]

I don’t think we talk enough about the fact that at the end of “Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini” the girl would rather DIE IN THE OCEAN than have people see her beach bod.

And when I say “we”, I mean you, because I talk about it all the time.