smurg

[smurg @WAPdubois]

Sister-in-law/Brother-in-law never made sense to me. That person is fucking your sibling. By calling them SIL/BIL that's saying your sibling is fucking your sibling.

That's incest baby.

Heeyuck.

[smurg @WAPdubois]

Instagram suggesting a scroll break feels worse than a dealer cutting me off..

[smurg @WAPdubois]

Caffeine should probably have calories. Who negotiated that deal for us?

[smurg @WAPdubois]

If you set the whole watermelon or onion on the cutting board first, the cutting board is now dirty.

You must slice off a chunk and place this newly exposed flat edge onto the board.

This is the only way.

[smurg @WAPdubois]

Proud to announce the DSF is pivoting from sucking dicks to AI compute infrastructure.

[smurg @WAPdubois]

I've known PhD Data Scientists, Full Stack Developers, Cyber Security experts, CISOs and more. And every one of them got got by errant goofy ass indent issues in MS Word.

[smurg @WAPdubois]

Naming my son Ched and people think I'm just saying Chad funny but really his legal name is Cheddar.

[smurg @WAPdubois]

Fun Fact: The reason we're called millennials is we were the primary economic driver of the 13x Platinum 1999 Backstreet Boys Studio album Millennium.

[smurg @WAPdubois]

I don't think men over 55 should be allowed to have hair. You had your run dawg. Bic it.

[smurg @WAPdubois]

I asked DJ X on Spotify to play something to make my not kill myself and he said 'i don't think I can sort this one out. Here's early 2000s EDM'

[smurg @WAPdubois]

Combobulated has to be the funniest way to say you're fine.

[smurg @WAPdubois]

What if every dog breed spoke a different language of bark, and we're all just assuming they understand each other?

[smurg @WAPdubois]

@ChrisMurphyCT Then do something Chris. People put you there. Get with your peers and fucking stop it

[smurg @WAPdubois]

When I was a kid in the 90s and it started to rain with the windows open at home, my parents reacted like the blitzkrieg was starting.

[smurg @WAPdubois]

What is really going on at the end of the word prompt

[smurg @WAPdubois]

Why do we do them cookies, and not bakeies?

[smurg @WAPdubois]

Me going 71 in a 35 squeezing back the mud butt with the combined might of my full ancestral lineage.

[smurg @WAPdubois]

The thinning at my crown is between God and whoever's clapping my ass cheeks.

[smurg @WAPdubois]

At James Jonathan's obliterating The J.J. Gargantuan® screaming the words to the James Devour Planet song playing.

[smurg @WAPdubois]

Oh. My favorite great Khan of the Mongol Empire?

Probably Ligdan.