NOT A WIZARD

[NOT A WIZARD @WAVERLYCARDOSA]

(248): I PEED OUT GLITTER TOO. i ingested an unacceptable amount of it. can i die from this? stripper problems 101.

[NOT A WIZARD @WAVERLYCARDOSA]

@NEWYORKiNCHQ

[NOT A WIZARD @WAVERLYCARDOSA]

/ unfollow please :’)

[NOT A WIZARD @WAVERLYCARDOSA]

my dream: having a bath tub so big that i can swim in it

[NOT A WIZARD @WAVERLYCARDOSA]

i love drinking pineapple juice before bed

[insert @ELiJAHPLAYGAMES]

@.everyotherperson: i fucking hate elijah

[NOT A WIZARD @WAVERLYCARDOSA]

more bonus points when it all fits

[NOT A WIZARD @WAVERLYCARDOSA]

bonus points when you forgot you ordered it

[NOT A WIZARD @WAVERLYCARDOSA]

you know it’s gonna be a good day when you wake up and a huge package of bras and panties comes in the mail

[NOT A WIZARD @WAVERLYCARDOSA]

@fvckluna probably but if they can’t put in their fair share then i’m out.

[NOT A WIZARD @WAVERLYCARDOSA]

okay but that’s the best one. you know how great it feels to have a guy pick you up and pound it?? ok i’m done

[NOT A WIZARD @WAVERLYCARDOSA]

@fvckluna i’m not prepared for this. it isn’t a good selfie hour.

[NOT A WIZARD @WAVERLYCARDOSA]

i just woke up. hey dudes

[NOT A WIZARD @WAVERLYCARDOSA]

why did i censor that. i mean fucked for anyone who couldn’t guess

[NOT A WIZARD @WAVERLYCARDOSA]

i never get to talk to anybody because my sleep schedule is f*cked

[NOT A WIZARD @WAVERLYCARDOSA]

ditto

[NOT A WIZARD @WAVERLYCARDOSA]

@AMER4POTUS yes. especially after drinking soda