Emily Whalen

Intensely self-deprecating & also a vapid narcissist.

[Emily Whalen @WDawg53]

"I love you ain't that the worst thing you've ever heard" yes @taylorswift13

[Emily Whalen @WDawg53]

At the body shop doing something unholy

[capricorn cunt 🎀 @celesitial]

i don’t want to be loved because i’m reliable, i want to be loved for my personality, for my smile and my voice.

[Jude D @heyitsJudeD]

😂😂 Perhaps I should?

[Chase Mitchell @ChaseMit]

Scrolled too fast by this photo of Elon Musk and thought it was Zach Braff going through a rough divorce

[Christopher David @Tazerface16]

To all you demented Kyle Rittenhouse fans out there:

Bob's Big Boy can file all the defamation lawsuits he wants, but he won't win a single one.

I can call him a murderer all day long if I feel like it.

So, bite me, dipshits.

[Emily Whalen @WDawg53]

I'm in love with Ed Sheeran OK

[Emily Whalen @WDawg53]

Karma is a cat purring in my lap cuz it loves me

[Emily Whalen @WDawg53]

Calm down baby calm down... Lyrics that will not make me calm down

[Emily Whalen @WDawg53]

@davidmweissman Omg pls don't ill literally pay you

[Emily Whalen @WDawg53]

My queen Julia owns #mybestfriendswedding

[𝐀 𝐌 𝐀 𝐍 𝐃 𝐀 @littlegiinge]

I’m having a hard time activating my holiday spirit. Pretty sure my switch is broke.

[Emily Whalen @WDawg53]

Still in her bed, still burping. Marla is still full.

[sojujinbutsu @EdgarPoop1]

More thanks giving, less hot taking

[Wilde Thingy @wildethingy]

If you can learn to laugh at yourself, you will never, ever run out of material.

[Marly @VerbsRProudest]

Me: How'd you injure your back?

Friend: I dropped something, bent down to pick it up, and my back said, "You sure 'bout that?"

[KattsDogma @KattsDogma]

GTFO if your cranberry sauce isn't shaped like a can.