Matt Warburton

He/Him
Pro Union except in sql
King Wool

[Matt Warburton @Waaaaaarb]

so it's #MentalHealthAwarenessWeek and I've been hesitant about posting something because it's all probably been said better by others but I have things to get off my chest and I prefer when people are in bed and it feels like I'm shouting in to a void so thread I guess 1/??

[The Liverpool Offside @LFCOffside]

Football is a funny old sport and by funny I mean ha ha ha I want to die.

[al horford is the best big man in nba history @somegingerguy23]

me, watching the industrial development of england:

[Nathan 🔎 @NathanpmYoung]

god is dead and the most efficient way to pack 17 squares into a square killed him

[Can You Violate The Geneva Conventions? @ViolateGeneva]

You can violate the Geneva Conventions in Animal Crossing: New Horizons by ignoring Gulliver (the wounded, sick and shipwrecked shall be collected and cared for)

[Richard @gamray]

Yeah I think that’s football finished. A banner for a fucking lawyer. Call it all off.

[carz @Carzonfye]

Why did Gandalf bring a firework that suddenly transforms into a dragon to an elderly dragon attack survivor’s birthday. does he not like Bilbo

[Fesshole🧻 @fesshole]

Found my boyfriend's burner phone. Turns out he spends his quiet periods at work, meeting other men all over the county to collect rare Pokemon. Phew.

[Advait Kaushik @kaushikadvait1]

Chelsea amortising goals over 8.5 games.

[Cara Lisette @CaraLisette]

Give the child who wrote this the Poet Laureate

[✨Omar Najam✨ 🖤🤍💜 @OmarNajam]

In one of my marine bio classes a teacher asked "how big is the ocean?" and one student yelled "not big enough!" and we all started chanting "expand the ocean! land is for losers!" and the professor smiled and went "yes yesssss soon not even the mountains will be beneath us"

[issy metcalf @isabeIIeee]

hahahaha please look at this house

https://t.co/cN59qB8lOJ

[Adam Hurrey @FootballCliches]

Do you want them to shut up or not mate

[Katelyn Burns @transscribe]

“Forget a literal human trafficker, what about the trans allies”

[Footy Accumulators @FootyAccums]

Danjuma when Everton asked him to take some photos for their transfer announcement:

[Matt Warburton @Waaaaaarb]

@Mikey_R_1992 Giving them an awful lot of credit assuming they're thinking more than 3 months in advance here

[R @rjb_1998]

Think everton should hire Gerrard as a social experiment