E.

Keen Observer Of The Human Condition.

[E. @WalkWithEmem]

I can get more money, but i can never get more time.

[Uncle Ruckus @Emarged]

The children of Nigerian politicians have more disdain for Nigerians than their parents.

[David Lambert @Winter_Six]

I'm glad you decided to wrap up your coverage at Libya instead of trying to cross the Mediterranean.

That would've been the actual deadliest part of your journey. You actually wouldn't have returned.

Well done.

[Yobarnub 🦍 @realyobarnub]

Content creator shares his first experience at a police station after he was stopped on his way to the studio, had his phone and laptop searched over a WhatsApp conversation with someone in Jamaica and was immediately accused of being a fraudster after officers saw pictures of camera equipment in the chat, before another officer reviewed the conversation and cleared him 😳🤦🏽‍♂️

[Tade Samson @tdontop]

When you find yourself in shit like this, the body somehow finds a way to keep pushing. You keep moving until you finally can’t… or something much worse brings the whole thing to an end.

Following each episode keeps bringing back memories of my escapade to Cameroon by Boat.

A friend of ours was getting married to the love of his life in Cameroon, and of course, we had to be there.

The couple would be flying in from the UK. A few of our friends were coming from Europe and America. Then there were three of us travelling from Nigeria.

We checked flights from Lagos to Yaoundé.

Around ₦2 million plus.

Horrendous.

What made it even more ridiculous was that flying to Cameroon from Nigeria was far more expensive than those flying in from Europe and America.

But anyway… what we do for friendship.

We were going to be there.

Then, suddenly, one of us came up with an idea.

“What if we go by ferry?”

The plan sounded surprisingly simple.

Take a local flight from Lagos to Akwa Ibom. From there, hop on a comfortable private ferry and, in about 1.5 hours, we’d be in Cameroon.

Total cost?

Less than ₦200k, including immigration stamps.

Sounds like an adventure, right?

Yeah.

We thought so too.

Until we realised just how deep into shit we had put ourselves.

My friend got the number of our supposed “driver.” The guy confirmed everything we had been told and even assured us it would be a fun, easy trip.

Then we got to Ibaka.

That was when things started looking strange.

First, we discovered that the man we had been speaking to wasn’t actually our driver.

He was a connector.

And by that point, there was really no turning back.

He told us to pay another man.

That man wouldn’t accept a transfer.

Cash only.

And even meeting him felt less like paying for transportation and more like trying to locate an undercover agent.

That should have been our warning.

But it was already too late.
It turns out we wouldn’t be getting any passport stamp. We would be bundled in as a cherry on top of an already filled luggage boat.

What our eyes saw from Ibaka to Cameroon ehn…

[Yobarnub 🦍 @realyobarnub]

Jamaican food critic based in America orders a Nigerian lady’s homemade Jollof rice, seasoned fish, okra and Banga soup for $445, then tips her an extra $55 for a job well done and rates the food 9.9/10 😳🔥❤️

[stux @svuxcore]

nigeria is such a funny simulation, because tell me why a “thief” speaks better than a reporter?

nna ehn!

['Fisayo Soyombo @fisayosoyombo]

I am looking for ‘Aminu from Yobe State’, my ‘21st reason to stay alive’, the stranger who saved me in the deserts of Libya between al Gatrun and Sabha on the night of Wednesday June 24. He vanished into the anonymity of darkness before I could even say ‘thank you’.

If you know an Aminu who migrated to Libya through the backdoor in the first half of this year, and he can confirm the encounter I narrated in Part III of @fijnigeria’s migrant investigation, please connect me to him.

I am willing to activate his emergency evacuation from Libya (if it interests him), and find him a job in Nigeria.

One good turn, they say…

[chief sọm @chisomholic]

But technically, as an ashewo, you're the real pick-me. Because customers have to literally pick you for the night, otherwise you'd die of hunger. 🤷‍♀️

['Fisayo Soyombo @fisayosoyombo]

Trekking in the desert like the Israelites. Waylaid by desert bandits. The Benue girl “brutally raped for 3 days” by traffickers.

The 3rd and final installation of @fijnigeria’s migrant investigation.

UNDERCOVER: Europe Through the Sahara Desert and the Mediterranean Sea (III) https://t.co/gbFaEsOwKU

[DON “Tobechukwu” Ade 👑 @Row_Haastrup]

I’ve been using Amazon for over 8 years and I am just discovering this 😭 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[Joseph Brendan @Joe_brendan_]

Who has ear should hear.

- Kogi
- Nasarawa
- Benue
- Taraba
- Ogun
- Ondo

Get highway plots in these states. They will Control West African logistics in 10 years.

The Chinese will outdo many of our local businesses but you see logistics? They can't

Then you see Ondo and Akwa Ibom, they are the only states in Nigeria with the brightest future in the Maritime business

Buy lands in the local governments close to the shorelines

[Clinton Arinze 🍃🍁 @ClintonArinze01]

Guys, you won’t believe what happened to my brother yesterday. 😭

He got home around 11 p.m., parked his car outside and went to sleep.

The next morning, he came out to use the car and noticed the bonnet was open.

He opened it and… his battery was gone! 😭💔

He called his mechanic and told him he was scared to buy another battery because the thieves might come back.

Later that evening, they went to a battery shop to get a replacement.

The first shop was closed, so they entered another one.

Guys… guess what my brother saw on the floor?

HIS OWN BATTERY! 😭😭

He had written his name on the battery because it was brand new, so there was no mistake.

They asked the person who brought it, and he claimed he bought it from someone else.

They called that person…

And it was the actual thief!

The most shocking part? The thief was just a 13–14-year-old boy. 😭

He even demonstrated exactly how he opened the bonnet and removed the battery. That’s the video you’re seeing here.

And guess how much he sold a ₦120,000 battery for?

₦15,000! 😭💔

Imagine waking up to discover your battery is gone, then finding your own battery in a shop the next evening. 😂😭

This country sha… you really have to watch everything.

Car owners, please secure your cars properly. And parents, we really need to pay attention to what these young boys are getting involved in.

Have you ever experienced something like this before?

[IMAG @Omo_imagbe]

Give Nigerians a functional system, real opportunities, and an environment where hard work is rewarded, and you’ll see just how much Nigerians are capable of achieving

[OurFaveOnlineDoc 🇬🇧 🇳🇬 @OurFavOnlineDoc]

“Nigerians are complaining about petrol price. I was in London last week at a filling station to compare fuel prices of Nigeria and UK. A litre of fuel costs over ₦3,000+ there in UK, We are enjoying here.”

—Uneducated illiterate Edo Governor Okpebholo

[TimithegoatTTG🎯 @sethgun1800]

If there were no clear signs before, this is the clearest so far. I feel bad for those that invested.

[YabaLeftOnline @yabaleftonline]

“Nigerians, too much thinking does not cause high blood pressure”

— Nurse lists the main causes of high blood pressure

[gst @wearegst]

Despite producing double the cement Nigeria needs, three companies control the market and have hiked prices to 15,000 naira per bag, making home ownership an impossible dream for you.

[Daniel @danielholkss]

Afolakemi Victoria Martins

You go blame the day you meet her

Don't worry, she just dey start with you. By the time she is done with you, you will learn to keep your dick inside your pant

[Greg @KutthroatG_]

If you buy that Greek yoghurt and turkey , Wallahi after 1 week there won’t be a single day you don’t regret it 😭

[Sai Ishaya @Sai_Ishaya_]

I can believe it.

What I wish could change, and what I would continue to speak about, is how minorities, especially Nigerians, react to tweets like that.

Every time racists descend on someone, your reflexive reaction can't be to start telling the person that they shouldn't have done "X". They shouldn't even exist or share their wins because of racism.

That is not a way to live. You cannot keep living in fear and silence. A racist will always find a reason to be unhappy with your existence.

You either call out the behaviour or ignore it; it is better than jumping in to shut someone down who's already facing significant abuse for sharing a milestone.