Wallace Clark IV

[Wallace Clark IV @WallaceClarkIV1]

Going to start my own internet radio show about octopus...
It'll be my cephalopodcast.

[Wallace Clark IV @WallaceClarkIV1]

What's the difference between a knife and an argumentative person certain they're right??
A knife's point is useful.

[Wallace Clark IV @WallaceClarkIV1]

The word "abbreviation" is comically long.

[Wallace Clark IV @WallaceClarkIV1]

Did you hear about the lenient sledding supervisor?
He lets everyone slide!

[Wallace Clark IV @WallaceClarkIV1]

A male feminist walked into a bar... because it was set so low.

[Wallace Clark IV @WallaceClarkIV1]

No matter how much old Halloween candy I eat it always seems to go to waist.

[Wallace Clark IV @WallaceClarkIV1]

I have a depression joke but ultimately it’s too long, doesn’t really go anywhere, and eventually makes you wonder if it’s even worth continuing

[Wallace Clark IV @WallaceClarkIV1]

A smoothie bar serving combined fruit & vegetable drinks has been linked to bouts of depression...

Their "Melon-Cauli" smoothie has since been discontinued.

[Wallace Clark IV @WallaceClarkIV1]

Astronomers got tired of watching the moon go around the earth for 24 hours so they called it a day.

[Wallace Clark IV @WallaceClarkIV1]

A blade of grass complained to another "It hasn't rained in weeks!"
she responded "We'll just have to make dew."

[Wallace Clark IV @WallaceClarkIV1]

A scarecrow won a prestigious award--
she was out standing in her field.