Chris Watson

I am made of shamrocks. I am made of stern stuff.

[Chris Watson @WattyFP]

@BillHerringIII @its_The_Dr @BillHerringIII for the same reason you can't keep yours shut. FFS you even have the chupaverga naranja as your profile pic. Reconsider your life choices, or at least realize that others have the same opportunities that you do regarding speaking their minds.

[Chris Watson @WattyFP]

@ChadPergram And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what it looks like when you get all the way to the balls.

[Chris Watson @WattyFP]

@AdamSchefter For
What
Fucking
Reason?

[Chris Watson @WattyFP]

@SenRickScott @RudyGiuliani Hoping for the exact opposite. The man is the personification of everything a human being should not be, as is our current president. To champion garbage is to identify with and show allegiance to it.

[Chris Watson @WattyFP]

@BrianRenfroe19 Hey Brian, where are our backpay checks? USPS would be chasing us if we owed them money, why are we waiting for them to pay us what we really should have received years ago? Are we gonna see those get retroactively applied to our TSPs? #fightlikeheck #seeyachump

[Chris Watson @WattyFP]

@PeteHegseth @DeptofDefense Shut the fuck up, you useless LARPing fat cunt.

[Chris Watson @WattyFP]

@realDonaldTrump More like "Enslave America"

Trump is garbage.

[Chris Watson @WattyFP]

@GeeScottSr man, I was talking about how crispy that Salute to Service gear was that you had on for like the first 20 mins of the KJ All Day video and then KJ had to go doodoo brown on it? I need at least that hoodie if not both layers. Absolutely filthy gear. 🔥❤️

[Chris Watson @WattyFP]

Not enough. #rootq1

[Chris Watson @WattyFP]

@jarredkelenic dude. Stop being the idiot we Mariners fans expect you to be. You've done so well this season and then...this. No one is surprised. Be better.

[Chris Watson @WattyFP]

@AliSmiles4You Decode is an amazing song.

[Chris Watson @WattyFP]

This has truly aged well.

[Chris Watson @WattyFP]

@logangilbert22 hey man, you're killing it. We may not have won yesterday but you're really establishing yourself as a great piece of this starting rotation. Keep it up. 👊

[Chris Watson @WattyFP]

@RealKingFelix thanks for signing my jersey yesterday, I wish I had time to thank you for all you did for the Mariners and their/your fans, but now: THANK YOU! Seattle will always love you and I'm so glad I finally got my #59 jersey signed by my favorite player of all time! LLKF!

[Chris Watson @WattyFP]

@dkm14 Tack up those gloves and we might listen to your opinion a little more. CiaRuss deserves some vitriol.

[Chris Watson @WattyFP]

@MrJamesMay though it's been some time since you made "Oh, Cook!" I must thank you for your reference to "Sumer Is Icumen In." I sang this in school, and you are the only person since then that has mentioned it. Lhude sing cucco, indeed. Cheers, good sir.

[Nihilist Arby's @nihilist_arbys]

This Easter, why not make a joke about zombie Jesus? It’s not like anything else you say is funny or original.

Enjoy Arby’s

[Nihilist Arby's @nihilist_arbys]

Arby’s is the new pack of smokes. This Father’s Day, run out for some Arby’s and never look back. They’ll be fine. You’ll be happy again.

Please continue to enjoy Arby’s

[Chris Watson @WattyFP]

@pnut @tomdelonge I'll sing for this group 🤷‍♂️ just throwing my hat in the ring.

[Chris Watson @WattyFP]

@pnut @tomdelonge PLEASE MAKE THIS A THING

[Chris Watson @WattyFP]

If Jared Keeso was a cheese, he'd be Jared Quee-so 🤣