Noah Weiss

You can call me anything, just not late for dinner

[Noah Weiss @WavyGravyWeiss]

They’re playing Glass Houses by Billy Joel at the same Dunkin’ donuts

[Noah Weiss @WavyGravyWeiss]

They’re playing Beach House in Dunkin’ Donutd…

[Noah Weiss @WavyGravyWeiss]

Whole lotta free thinkers at the NYK parade today…

[Noah Weiss @WavyGravyWeiss]

People who read the comments sections of reels and posts: 😃
People who don’t…: 🤢

[Noah Weiss @WavyGravyWeiss]

Who’s this Jared McCain kid? Sixers should sign him..

[Noah Weiss @WavyGravyWeiss]

People named Janice have the opportunity to do the funniest thing in the world rn….

[Noah Weiss @WavyGravyWeiss]

Maturing is realizing summer is the more elite season. Message brought to you by December Bday Gang

[Noah Weiss @WavyGravyWeiss]

Calling someone a clown is disrespectful...
Calling an actual clown…a clown is respectful

[Noah Weiss @WavyGravyWeiss]

Bump

[Noah Weiss @WavyGravyWeiss]

Negative number of people will get this reference but:

be me age 12:
boot up Fallout New Vegas:
*enter Quary Junction*
*enter Silver Peak Mine*
*enter Cerulean Robotics*
come out shell shocked like a war vet
Best. time. of. my. life.
Take me back.

[Noah Weiss @WavyGravyWeiss]

I miss listening to @BeaccchHoussse with you

[Noah Weiss @WavyGravyWeiss]

Like thumbing an old splinter buried in my palm, the phantom sting greedily ebbs back in. The remnant song evokes ancestral pain merely a vestige of an older self. New joy shields the past. Play on, play on, play on.

[Noah Weiss @WavyGravyWeiss]

Social anxiety John Mayer be like “The prettiest girl in the room hates me, ik cause she told me so

[Noah Weiss @WavyGravyWeiss]

Why doesn’t @dunkindonuts have their own sports stadium by now? I’ll push myself to peak physical fitness to play in their arena. Besides, I feel like I deserve to be the owner how much money I’ve given them

[Noah Weiss @WavyGravyWeiss]

Saturday nights are the most overrated nights to go out. Prove me wrong. Brought to you by go-out-every-other-night club

[Noah Weiss @WavyGravyWeiss]

I love getting 3 and a half views on my tweets! Like, noooo, please don’t read my funny thoughts and jokes! Gooosh that’d be so stupid

[Noah Weiss @WavyGravyWeiss]

@fckmoddy I agree. Not enough chicken.

[Noah Weiss @WavyGravyWeiss]

There needs to be a feature where you snooze your morning’s alarms if you wake up early. Where my anxious adults at??

[Noah Weiss @WavyGravyWeiss]

Just a Mr. Schermerhorn looking for his Mrs. Hoyt in this world

[Noah Weiss @WavyGravyWeiss]

DJ X from Spotify yaps like he’s the one paying for the subscription. Don’t tell me what the vibes are, homie. I’m the one who curated the algorithm you’re pulling from!