real friends know your triggers. your relationship partner does too. stop dealing with people who intentionally do things to trigger you and play victim as if they are unaware of why you gave your given reaction. they know exactly what they’re doing. stay away from them!
when Jhené Aiko said you gotta lose your mind just to find your peace of mind that is so true. you really have to go through a dark time, but there is definitely light at the end of the tunnel.
I know someone who declined the offer of studying abroad because of a boyfriend, right now the boyfriend is working abroad and married and she is here alone. Learn to choose yourself and be selfish about your goals.