Michael J. Weaver

keep scrolling, bozo

[Michael J. Weaver @Weaver_MJ]

First time my kid notices the moon changing phases I’m gonna act super freaked out and say it’s never done that before

[Michael J. Weaver @Weaver_MJ]

Been trying a new health hack recently called “getting 9 hours of sleep” and I highly recommend it I feel amazing

[Gators Daily 🐊 @GatorsDaily]

ITS FLAT FUCK FRIDAY

ROLL THE CLIP

[Michael J. Weaver @Weaver_MJ]

A friend of mine called me Forest Gump the other day and tbh it was one of the best compliments I’ve ever received

[Michael J. Weaver @Weaver_MJ]

Ngl I’m just glad the sun came back on

[Michael J. Weaver @Weaver_MJ]

Earthquake AND eclipse in a matter of 4 days?? Dude the northeast is getting some strong messages from the gods rn

[Michael J. Weaver @Weaver_MJ]

False alarm y’all, winter now starts in March and lasts like 3 weeks

[Michael J. Weaver @Weaver_MJ]

My stupid ass really got into skiing right before climate change started kicking up a notch… y’all remember winter? Yeah me neither

[lily @c0wgirlonline]

april fools day is plain and ordinary to a scheming little jester like me

[Michael J. Weaver @Weaver_MJ]

Just duped like 3 relatives with an AI picture that took like two min to make lol we’re in so much trouble guys

[Michael J. Weaver @Weaver_MJ]

Feel like The Weeknd would absolutely crush In The Air Tonight

[Michael J. Weaver @Weaver_MJ]

Guys help I saw Les Mis and Dune 2 in the same week and now I really want to join a revolution

[Michael J. Weaver @Weaver_MJ]

Pistachios are not a snack for the weak… you have to pick yourself up by the bootstraps and WORK for them

[Michael J. Weaver @Weaver_MJ]

Happy hangover to all who celebrate💚

[Michael J. Weaver @Weaver_MJ]

Forget a slap, RDJ should’ve knocked Jimmy tf out for this

[Michael J. Weaver @Weaver_MJ]

@dahlz_ Strands #5
“Do the do”
🟡🔵🔵🔵
🔵🔵🔵

[Michael J. Weaver @Weaver_MJ]

I do Wordle, Spotle, Connections, and the Mini Crossword every morning now. I’m like a neurotic Thanos collecting brainteasers.

[Michael J. Weaver @Weaver_MJ]

Hell yeah Frenchies kick off another Enlightenment

[The Washington Post @washingtonpost]

The French government’s pioneering push to become the first country in the world to enshrine abortion rights in its constitution got a boost on Wednesday with lawmakers in the right-dominated Senate voting to inscribe abortion as a “guaranteed freedom.” https://t.co/0TLQ2NbaXl

[Michael J. Weaver @Weaver_MJ]

You shouldn’t have to pay taxes if you’re just a silly little guy

[Michael J. Weaver @Weaver_MJ]

My stupid ass really got into skiing right before climate change started kicking up a notch… y’all remember winter? Yeah me neither

[Michael J. Weaver @Weaver_MJ]

How’s everyone’s morning going? Mine’s pretty okay I guess nothing too out of the ordinary exCEPT I GOT A MF DOUBLE YOLK IN MY EGGS!!