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Trash enthusiast.

[Weber @Weberness]

If you're cold. They're cold.

Just an annual reminder to take your plants inside, you Spinster.

[Rob: Folie à Deux @ClooneyDisciple]

12 days ago I was seeing a show called We’re Gonna Die

[Weber @Weberness]

No one at this christening has told me I'm dressed better than the baby and tbh I'm starting to get offended.

[Weber @Weberness]

When you and bae start using the same detergent #justgirlythings #garbage https://t.co/K3gbwrpvcc

[Weber @Weberness]

Can't tell if Pinterest is still easing out the Holiday pins or if everything I search for has underlying Christmas themes.

[Weber @Weberness]

My bedroom aesthetic is Big Game Drag Queen Hunter Trophy Room.

[Weber @Weberness]

@craigjorczak @ToddDakotah not enough nachos. Three stars.

[Weber @Weberness]

And you will hold me close. And you keep me safe. And rain... Will make the flowers grow.… https://t.co/aYqlw9YjMf

[Weber @Weberness]

Don't mind me just eye fucking a Carrot on #Halloween

[Weber @Weberness]

@craigjorczak don't make crass jokes on Witch Christmas.

[Weber @Weberness]

#ineedfeminismbecause I'm tired of being called a Witch when I'm good at something. Some people are just good at stealing the souls of kids!

[Weber @Weberness]

When my kids are bummed I can't help them with college, I'll have to explain that Mommy just wore some dope ass jewelery in the 2010s.

[Weber @Weberness]

Fall's got me like "I'll eye fuck every dog, I don't care"

[Weber @Weberness]

@ToddDakotah had we settled on placing @craigjorczak in between us at the sweetheart table? Now I guess we can't take it back.

[Weber @Weberness]

@rustybuehler don't forget about the turban!

[Weber @Weberness]

The lady at my bagel place: "You look so good! Like everytime. What is your secret?"
Me: "EVERYTHING BAGELS"

[Weber @Weberness]

@HiMomPodcast RT @mental_floss: Elevating Poop Science to an Art — http://t.co/kQyzAEydgi

[Weber @Weberness]

@craigjorczak this playlist is legit titled "Soothing Songs For Moms" Also, is this what is like to be @ToddDakotah?

[Weber @Weberness]

Jamming out to Mom Songs while I make the bed. Is this what Happiness is?