Keith Paul

Husband • Father • Libra

[Keith Paul @WeirdNeighborK]

Bernie Sanders spoke passionately about the role baseball plays in communities, ripping Major League Baseball for cutting 40 minor league teams. https://t.co/0N8zLGzpvw # via @HuffPostPol

[Clayton Sandell @Clayton_Sandell]

EXCLUSIVE: I’m excited to share rare & never-seen footage, outtakes & bloopers from #StarWars “The Empire Strikes Back”! Amazing moments with Harrison & Carrie, plus @HamillHimself's "Tauntaun Dance". A gift to you from my favorite Lucasfilm elves. #ESB40 https://t.co/3Rfe1qyr2i

[Keith Paul @WeirdNeighborK]

@beefyness @mclars I think you’re in the clear now.

https://t.co/7FoSdQjokz

[Keith Paul @WeirdNeighborK]

Hey, #atthelp. Don’t drop WZTV in Nashville from @DIRECTV, ok? OK.

[Keith Paul @WeirdNeighborK]

@ToppsMARVEL @Avengers Kudos, @MarvelStudios

[Keith Paul @WeirdNeighborK]

Real men have bumper stickers saying they're real men.

[Keith Paul @WeirdNeighborK]

If I were entrepreneurial, I'd make microfiber cloth baggies TWICE the size of the actual cloths. I'd clean my glasses so much more often if I didn't have to fold that shit into a perfect flat rectangle. #FourEyeProblems

[Keith Paul @WeirdNeighborK]

@gingerbradman Promise?

[Keith Paul @WeirdNeighborK]

Does anyone know how to perform a citizen's arrest? Asking for an enemy.

#AskingForAnEnemy

[Ken Jennings @KenJennings]

I’ve said this before but Alex Trebek is in a way the last Cronkite: authoritative, reassuring TV voice you hear every night, almost to the point of ritual.

[Keith Paul @WeirdNeighborK]

As a dad, I love sunny days because I get to open the blinds and say, "Let's shed some light on the subject." 🌞

[Keith Paul @WeirdNeighborK]

Are all squirrels evil? When dogs pass away, they're up in heaven chasing squirrels. That means doggie heaven must be squirrel hell. If all dogs go to heaven, that's a crapload of squirrels running around the afterlife.

[Ken Jennings @KenJennings]

Alito: Battle Angel

[Keith Paul @WeirdNeighborK]

“Football combines the two worst things about America: it is violence punctuated by committee meetings.” @GeorgeWill

[Keith Paul @WeirdNeighborK]

@Gillette should strike a deal with Samsung then run their toxic masculinity ad during the Super Bowl. They'll make a mint in new TV sales to replace all the broken ones.

[Keith Paul @WeirdNeighborK]

Cardi B is attractive, but her cousin Cardi O leaves me breathless. #dadjokes

[Keith Paul @WeirdNeighborK]

We’ve arrived. ⁦@TaoVBB⁩

[M. Night Shyamalan @MNightShyamalan]

But if you need your #GlassMovie fix before July 20th, here’s the world premiere of our teaser poster.

[Mark D. Aubrey @mdaubrey]

TMZ (TennesseeVintageBaseBall Mania Zone) has released these photos, showing proof that @WilliamDocHardy has fallen off of the glazed biscuit ring wagon and is apparently eating fruit. He hasn't commented on the issue. We haven't yet asked him.