the dude

[the dude @Weirdaloe]

Boss: you didn’t respond to my email.

Me: I also don’t respond to text messages.

[the dude @Weirdaloe]

If I were a politician, I would demand more dodgeball. In every classroom.

[the dude @Weirdaloe]

@camp_trash On literal gang

[the dude @Weirdaloe]

@camp_trash

[the dude @Weirdaloe]

I admit it: this is the most basic Twitter commentary on Christian nationalism

[the dude @Weirdaloe]

A high school student challenged me to a 5k. He smoked my ass. So now I have no idea what the God of the Bible means when he says “let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,” (wait there’s a comma? Ignore that).

[the dude @Weirdaloe]

Cold cheese is not tasty. Put cheese in your pocket for a few hours before you eat it

[the dude @Weirdaloe]

Student: if this is all a simulation I want to know who the f*ck wrote Mr D’s code.

[the dude @Weirdaloe]

Me to high school student: you dress like my mom in the 80s.

Her: you dress like my dad.

Me: your dad in the 80s?

Her: no.

[the dude @Weirdaloe]

That Floridian shaman gave a little too much to me

[the dude @Weirdaloe]

Vaccinated by the blood of Jesus

[the dude @Weirdaloe]

So many boats out there and not enough docks.

[Rev. Dr. Chuck Currie @RevChuckCurrie]

Unlike Marjorie Taylor Greene, I've studied the Scriptures & devoted myself to serving the Church. Christian nationalism is a racist ideology incompatible with Christianity. Jesus was for all the world, not one nation. Beware false teachers like Greene. She dances with the devil.

[the dude @Weirdaloe]

Maybe they want us to think it’s a simulation

[the dude @Weirdaloe]

Bandit from Bluey definitely smokes weed

[the dude @Weirdaloe]

It’s that time of year when you need football.

[the dude @Weirdaloe]

If I were to be mugged, I’d say “actually this is a hidden camera show. We have cameras right there, and there, and there”, and then I’d run a 4.5 40. Which brings me to my main point. I did run a 4.5 in high school and that was the peak of civilization.

[the dude @Weirdaloe]

I’d watch the NBA if it were 3 v 3.

5 v 5? Pffff. Ok

[the dude @Weirdaloe]

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day

[the dude @Weirdaloe]

@lztcntrrs It’s like “IF YOU WANT TO TALK WAIT FOR ME TO CALL YOU”

[the dude @Weirdaloe]

Please tell everyone that if their number is not in my phone, I will not answer the call.