Dr. Welgian B'affles

President Elect of the United States

[Dr. Welgian B'affles @WelgianBaffles]

Harvard Restaurant

[𝘾𝙝𝙧𝙞𝙨 𝙂𝙧𝙤𝙨𝙨𝙚 @Chris_Grosse]

Using only a restaurant, tell us where you went to college.

[Jordan Fish @jwordfish]

@WelgianBaffles Was that Leprechaun 5: Beethoven’s Dick?

[Dr. Welgian B'affles @WelgianBaffles]

To the people who say, regarding pesto, “a little goes a long way”: shut the FUCK UP

[Dr. Welgian B'affles @WelgianBaffles]

“Every person who wanders is lost”

[Dr. Welgian B'affles @WelgianBaffles]

“Girls have two boyfriends…one for each titty”!

[Dr. Welgian B'affles @WelgianBaffles]

All the urinals open and a 20 man line for the stalls…it’s morning at Chicago O’hare airport

[Dr. Welgian B'affles @WelgianBaffles]

In 3rd or 4th grade I ate a Big Mac for the only time in my entire life and I still think about how intense and overwhelming it was…not a normal food

[Dr. Welgian B'affles @WelgianBaffles]

Reason for divorce: wife did not know that Shakira is 5’2”

[Dr. Welgian B'affles @WelgianBaffles]

Stop, Casting, British, Actors, AS AMERICANS!!!

[Dr. Welgian B'affles @WelgianBaffles]

I agree that young children shouldn’t by given cell phones but I would give a million dollars to be able to text with my four year old and hear the insane shit he says and thinks all day while he’s at school

[Dr. Welgian B'affles @WelgianBaffles]

Just be saw the 2011 movie “Lincoln Lawyer” starring Matthew McConaughey and let me just say this: this movie IS my life, exactly, in every details

[Dr. Welgian B'affles @WelgianBaffles]

RT @nytimes: TOPPING THE LIST OF BEST 100 MOVIES OF 21st CENTURY:

The Legend of Bagger Vance!!

[Dr. Welgian B'affles @WelgianBaffles]

Watching commercials on television in 2025 is legitimately the most insane thing imaginable

[Dr. Welgian B'affles @WelgianBaffles]

Just finished “Remains of the Day” and it appears to me that the moral is “servants are obvious morons” ?

[Dr. Welgian B'affles @WelgianBaffles]

My wife and I have a charming “weeknight easy meals” instagram account where we recommend straight up adding 3/4 cup of white vinegar to a serving of otherwise unseasoned pasta

[Dr. Welgian B'affles @WelgianBaffles]

🤯 https://t.co/d4UkclfcOi @dennismhogan @DanielDenvir @dieworkwear

[Dr. Welgian B'affles @WelgianBaffles]

Wife demanding to see samples of a product called “Marmoleum” made by “Forbo”

[Dr. Welgian B'affles @WelgianBaffles]

Mark Zucker is a SUCKER!! Just unbelievable levels of eat shit loser

[Dr. Welgian B'affles @WelgianBaffles]

They call it the Museum of Science because people are using advanced research to invent new ways of getting directly in my way when I’m simply trying to walk around!

[Dr. Welgian B'affles @WelgianBaffles]

Biscotti is whack as FUCK

[Dr. Welgian B'affles @WelgianBaffles]

“If ya mythology doesn’t have a Trickster character…I ain’t fuckin wit it”