Phil

Socially self-conscious since 1988. See my neuroticism on full display this summer at FringeNYC.

[Phil @WellAdjustedBen]

I'd name our "Douglas." Such a strong name.

[Phil @WellAdjustedBen]

@katemckinnon I expected funny, but you gave me exactly what I needed. Thank you.

[Phil @WellAdjustedBen]

Thank you @nbcsnl for being perfect.

[Phil @WellAdjustedBen]

Hillary is always talking about how much she LOVES lawlessness #gopconvention

[Phil @WellAdjustedBen]

Miss USA is must be THRILLED to be third #MissUniverse2015

[Phil @WellAdjustedBen]

What are you doing tonight at 9:30 @martymoore111? Seeing Bullet for Unaccompanied Heart? Good plan http://t.co/WvFZxW8v9d #FringeNYC

[Phil @WellAdjustedBen]

Nothing boosts your self esteem like going to a bar and finding that you're wearing the same shirt as the bartender. The female bartender.

[Phil @WellAdjustedBen]

For some reason Corey and I just spent 20 minutes doing a blind taste test of diet ginger ales. @DietCanadaDry won hands down

[Phil @WellAdjustedBen]

The Olympics should take notes from #MissUniverse. This is how you introduce countries

[Phil @WellAdjustedBen]

No one really uses the word "lousy" anymore. Except the man at CVS. And now me.

[Phil @WellAdjustedBen]

You know you're old when you can't tell the difference between typos and slang

[Phil @WellAdjustedBen]

The waiter keeps putting food in front of me, but I didn't order anything. I guess I need to start going to the gym again

[Phil @WellAdjustedBen]

@LibbyAllisonD the only thing missing are you and Rob

[Phil @WellAdjustedBen]

I don't want say "I hate it," but I don't want to rate it, so I guess I'll just lie everyday and say "I'll rate it later." #TriviaCrack

[Phil @WellAdjustedBen]

"I tried water again for the first time in years, and it was awful"-coworker
"I am so concerned for your health."-me

[Phil @WellAdjustedBen]

I thought I was over It, but I found myself saying "American Idol starts tonight!" Aloud. At work. In front of coworkers. #AmericanIdol

[Phil @WellAdjustedBen]

Of course the bar in my hometown is playing 3 Doors Down and Matchbox 20. It's like time stopped while I was gone

[Phil @WellAdjustedBen]

I have a new pet peeve! Ordering a fancy sounding beer and they hand you a can. I look like a poor person. #TrickyBeer

[Phil @WellAdjustedBen]

That was fast. I got sucked into voting for @AmericasGotIt after watching for roughly 10 minutes.