G

❁ looks fade, humor doesn’t ❁

[Adam Kinzinger (Slava Ukraini) 🇺🇸🇺🇦 @AdamKinzinger]

Uh. This is exactly the point.

Nobody cared until Trump made it the biggest deal in the world then made it worse

[Hunter Biden @HunterBiden]

Dear Joe,
I wish I could sit down with you face to face and explain why so many of us were offended by the UFC fight on the South Lawn of the White House.
For me, it had nothing to do with the UFC or who showed up for the fights. The brand you and Dana have built is a bona fide American success story. More power to you. As for the fighters, in my book, anyone brave enough to put it all on the line in the arena is remarkable to witness. Their dedication and discipline inspire me. I don’t understand anyone who can’t admire that.
And as for the people who attended, I, for one, love Shane Gillis. I think he’s hilarious and brilliant. It was a show. A once-in-a-lifetime spectacle. I can’t blame anyone for wanting to witness it firsthand.
My problem is that I believe some of our public spaces are sacred. And unlike many of the great powers that came before us, these American monuments belong to all of us. Not to whoever happens to hold power at the moment.
The White House does not belong to Donald Trump. It does not belong to any President. It belongs to the people. To treat it as Caesar treated the Colosseum is antithetical to everything our founding fathers fought for.
This is not Rome. Presidents are not emperors doling out bread and circuses for the peasants. The White House is the People’s House. This “celebration” could have happened in any stadium within a stone’s throw of the South Lawn. No one would have had an issue with it.
But that was obviously Donald Trump’s whole point. By holding the event on the South Lawn, what he was saying to the rest of us is:
“This is my house. I own it. I will do with it what I please. I’ll build a colosseum and have the gladiators fight under my gaze. I’ll tear down the East Wing. I’ll pave over the Rose Garden. I’ll cover everything in gold and marble. I’ll erase the names of all the men who came before me.”
The fights were an exhibition of imperial domination, not a celebration of our 250th anniversary as a democracy.
The White House is not Buckingham Palace. It is not the Palace of Versailles. It is not the Forbidden City of Beijing. It does not belong to an emperor, or a king, or a commissar.
The White House belongs to us. All of us. The person who sits behind the Resolute Desk in the Oval Office is nothing more than an honored guest. A temporary caretaker.
The President is our servant. Not our Caesar.
Respectfully, Hunter

P.S. Cage match between me and Don Jr.? Your call on the venue. Anywhere but the South Lawn.

[Anthony @Catholicizm1]

Imagine pre-recording this and not editing it out.

[Afroman @ogafroman]

"Can you tell me what fact about you, that receding hairline or dipshit refers to please?

[The Facts Dude 🤙🏽 @Thefactsdude]

SAVAGE: Shawn Grooms claimed Afroman's songs were part of the reason his wife left him

Then the defense called their only witness to the stand to contradict his statement…

His ex-wife

She had to place a restraining order on him after their divorce. 🫠

[𝐣𝐞𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐫 ᥫ᭡. @jen_in_reverie]

I think the elephant really ties the room together.

[Ted @Tedoffthegrid]

There really is someone out there who will be absolutely obsessed with you and not want to hurt your feelings ever and who actually enjoys your company and it all just flows with. In case you were wondering. Don’t be jaded. There’s people out there who would love you so gently!

[Granite Man 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 @GraniteDhuine]

No other social media app gives me what Twitter has given me. It’s awful here, I'll never leave.

[The Ginger Swindler @lilydsmith]

then what is the point of the french

[teryn @youngtiddy]

STOP naming ur kids Tyler

[a @aallleeexxxxxx1]

i am done drinking alcohol. if i ever drink again it will only be because i want to or feel like it

[໊ @sonohoor]

turns out that my “refuse to learn a new skill unless i’m immediately good at it” tactic is sabotaging my entire life

[jim (normal) @nissan_roguer]

The lion doesn’t concern himself with Microsoft teams notifications

[nard @avantnard]

stolen valor. can’t support this

[🥔 @salzmann__]

Almost forgot to take my antidepressants

[himpath (francis etc) @gorgeousbrains]

when he was 13, a mormon youth group leader told benson boone that you could defeat your homosexual urges by doing one million front flips and he’s almost there. he’s so close.

[maha @mahaaaay]

“you should join a run club” you mean a sex cult?