What About Boots?

Dora and her friends live in the city now. Her new friends. But what about me, Dora? It's not right, but it's OK.

[What About Boots? @WhatAboutBoots]

Got a text from Isa that Bennie is in rehab. He hurt his back working for that farmer & got hooked on Oxy. #DamnYouDora #HesYourFriend

[What About Boots? @WhatAboutBoots]

Swiper & I went hiking today & drank a beer at the summit of the little blue hill. Lot of memories here. #DontCrySwiper #DamnYouDora

[What About Boots? @WhatAboutBoots]

Listen, I know Swiper is crazy AF but he's the only one I trust with this information. We're going to the ashram tomorrow to figure this out

[What About Boots? @WhatAboutBoots]

An hour later, my phone goes off. It's all the photos of Dora. The girl is gone. She left a note saying thanks. #WhatTheHellDoIDoNow? (2/2)

[What About Boots? @WhatAboutBoots]

We talked & she cried. Poor kid. She's on my couch, tucked under that soft Costco blanket. Brought her water, ibuprofen & went to bed. (1/2)

[What About Boots? @WhatAboutBoots]

She's like PROMISE ME DORA WILL NEVER FIND OUT ABOUT THIS. Then she starts showing me pictures on her phone. #HolyShit #NeedADrink #WhyDora

[What About Boots? @WhatAboutBoots]

Daaamn. I thought we were done for tonight but somebody's got a red wine buzz & is in an uber on her way to my place. #NewFriends #LetsTalk

[What About Boots? @WhatAboutBoots]

Had drinks w some of her new friends from the city. It was polite but we all need to build trust. Ordered tapas & 2 bottles of nice Rioja.

[What About Boots? @WhatAboutBoots]

Some of her new "friends" have been quietly TEXTING ME like "let's have a drink & can I pick your brain?" #GiddyUp #NoNames #DoraAndFriends

[What About Boots? @WhatAboutBoots]

@GarrettEulett Dora ghosted me, man. That hurt. I wish she'd slapped me & cussed me out bc I'm a damn monkey & I'd just throw poop at her.

[What About Boots? @WhatAboutBoots]

I miss #DowntonAbbey Swiper & I used to watch it every Sunday. He'd joke that I was Edith & Dora was Lady Mary. #goodtimes #greatoldies

[What About Boots? @WhatAboutBoots]

@Whereisbackpack Come over on Sun & play XBox w me & Swyper. Isa is making pollo con arroz. Benny is bringing flan. #Familia #LifeAfterDora

[What About Boots? @WhatAboutBoots]

@Whereisbackpack @DoraTheExplorer I've been wondering the same thing, man. #WeAreTheExpendables #LifeAfterDora

[What About Boots? @WhatAboutBoots]

So Pablo can harass me? Because no. You need to sleep w one eye open, buddy. Somebody might throw some poop on you someday. #MonkeyRules

[What About Boots? @WhatAboutBoots]

How was that last tweet threatening?! Dora's new city friends are all calling me out. FOR WHAT? Btw, now I have your cell Pablo. Thanks.

[What About Boots? @WhatAboutBoots]

I watched the snow come down, peacefully drifting & I felt a deep calm. The kind that washes over you just before you commit a felony. #dora

[What About Boots? @WhatAboutBoots]

Swiper is losing it. He shouldn't have left rehab early. He's all: "I'm going to become AMERICAN SWIPER. They'll make a movie." #needshelp

[What About Boots? @WhatAboutBoots]

Map and Backpack have lost their damn minds. She calls, they come running. This isn't going to end well. #JustSayNo #Dora

[What About Boots? @WhatAboutBoots]

Really feeling the @katyperry & @taylorswift13 thing in light of what I'm going through. Used to be mad love, #Dora. Now we got #BadBlood.

[What About Boots? @WhatAboutBoots]

So that's why "I Don't F** With You" is my ringtone. #ThatsMyJam #OdeToDora