Whatthecryptid

Satirical paranormal news from the Cryptid Capital of America. Greg is still missing. Unverified. Enter the investigation.

[Whatthecryptid @Whatthecryptid1]

Title: The Flatwoods Monster has been there since 1952.

Calm. Composed. Ten feet tall. Witnesses said it was unsettlingly still. Evelyn says that means it has a timetable. The discourse has failed this one. Practical steps available.
#FlatwoodsMonster #AskAnnie #WhatTheCryptid

[Whatthecryptid @Whatthecryptid1]

The Banshee maintains a 98.7% mortality prediction accuracy rate. For context, your weather app is at roughly 60%. WTCNN Field File is live.

#WhatTheCryptid #Banshee #WTCFieldFiles

[Whatthecryptid @Whatthecryptid1]

Hal Ridgeway's Week's End Editorial is live. This week, the gap between what officials say is happening and what witnesses, trackers, and field correspondents are actually documenting continued to close — and not quietly. https://t.co/rAQRnurbug

[Whatthecryptid @Whatthecryptid1]

BREAKING: Mothman was spotted replacing a lightbulb.

Turns out he wasn't attracted to the light...

He was fixing it.

#Mothman #WhatTheCryptid

[Whatthecryptid @Whatthecryptid1]

— FIELD UPDATE —

The bridge is intact but something has been sitting under it for what locals estimate is eleven days, and it has very consistent posture. — Mara Vane, reporting.

#WhatTheCryptid #Cryptid #ParanormalNews #WTC #CryptidSighting

[Whatthecryptid @Whatthecryptid1]

The Jersey Devil has been doing the work for decades. One professor finally checked the receipts. I cannot say I am surprised. I am, perhaps, mildly concerned about what happens next. Full piece at WTC. #WhatTheCryptid #WTC #JerseyDevil

[Whatthecryptid @Whatthecryptid1]

Werewolf tourism is in freefall. TripAdvisor is involved.
Romanian lycanthrope encounters down 73% following a TripAdvisor review bombing. Fourteen guests cited 'sloppy dismemberment.' The Carpathians have not declined to comment. Folklore rarely survives without reason.

[Whatthecryptid @Whatthecryptid1]

MODERATE threat level issued for Australia/Pacific. Tall Whites at High activity. Unknown Cosmic Entities elevated. The DCA says protocols are in place. [Australia/Pacific | WTC News]

#WTCNews #TallWhites #CryptidAlert #AustraliaPacific

[Whatthecryptid @Whatthecryptid1]

Day 21 and we have an unverified sighting out of the Cracker Barrel at Exit 150 in Roanoke, Virginia, where a subject matching Greg's description spent approximately thirty-five minutes rotating scented candles on a display rack with no apparent pattern or purchasing intent.

[Whatthecryptid @Whatthecryptid1]

Bigfoot's skincare routine: Evelyn weighs in

Trail cam footage from Humboldt County confirms Bigfoot has a skincare routine. Evelyn Crowe advises against identifying the product. She also advises against humming during moisturising. She does not explain why. She doesn't have to.

[Whatthecryptid @Whatthecryptid1]

Bigfoot vs. Goatman: A Field Assessment

Size is not the operative variable in threat assessment. It never has been. Full field comparison — two entities, documented methodology, operational recommendations — now available. Read carefully.
Find out more -> https://t.co/RnAdEKbX37

[Whatthecryptid @Whatthecryptid1]

A pet store sold a baby chupacabra. They are calling it an apology situation. I am calling it THIS WEEK'S TOP STORY. Link in bio. 🦎➡️🩸 #WhatTheCryptid #WTC #Chupacabra

[Whatthecryptid @Whatthecryptid1]

The Navy logged the fins. Then told everyone to ignore them.
1987 USS Constellation deck log: crew ordered not to acknowledge the fins for ELEVEN HOURS. No description. No number. Just: don't look. Navy calls it a non-event. Rico Valez is live at the National Archives.

[Whatthecryptid @Whatthecryptid1]

New WTC bestiary update: The Djinn. Verified capabilities include temporal displacement and physics suspension. Threat Rating: Extreme. Full file now live.

#WhatTheCryptid #WTCFieldFiles #Djinn

[Whatthecryptid @Whatthecryptid1]

Hal's editorial this week is not a comfortable read. It was a loud week in cryptid news - statements were issued, then revised, then quietly removed - and Hal has chosen to address not just what happened, but why we have collectively agreed, to look slightly to the left of it.

[Whatthecryptid @Whatthecryptid1]

BREAKING: Bigfoot has been spotted comparing paint samples at a hardware store.

No one knows what he's renovating.

What's your theory? 👀

#Bigfoot #WhatTheCryptid

[Whatthecryptid @Whatthecryptid1]

New WTC opinion piece: stop saying 'cryptid.' These are undocumented species Americans and they deserve the terminology. Filed live. Security asked me to leave. I filed first. Link in bio. #WhatTheCryptid #WTC #CryptidRights

[Whatthecryptid @Whatthecryptid1]

Three stars. Large hairy man blocking pump four.

Eight-foot Yowie used a Nullarbor BP tyre hose to wash himself for twenty minutes. Attendant filed nothing. Went back to his pie. Google review gave it three stars. That's the most damning documentation we have. Full report: