Where in Hell?!

If Dante had Twitter. Devising ironic punishments to build into hell’s floor plan. A new comedy account, new post every day

[Where in Hell?! @WhereInHell]

In hell, bank tellers have all their possessions tied to their desks by a beaded string

[Where in Hell?! @WhereInHell]

In hell, people who spam a group chat with plugs have to make friends with the algorithm

[Where in Hell?! @WhereInHell]

In hell, birds sleep on pillows filled with human hair

[Where in Hell?! @WhereInHell]

In hell, Ancient Romans have to explain all of their original cultural ideas to a Greek

[Where in Hell?! @WhereInHell]

In hell, magicians are tricked by children

[Where in Hell?! @WhereInHell]

In hell, Roland Barthes is bullied by all of the dead authors

[Where in Hell?! @WhereInHell]

In hell, the guy who invented trick reigniting candles is burnt on a pyre of them

[Where in Hell?! @WhereInHell]

In hell, Boris Johnson must always tell the truth, but only gets asked about his favourite pokemon

[Where in Hell?! @WhereInHell]

In hell, you can still be an accomplished nepo baby - but you must remain forever a baby

[Where in Hell?! @WhereInHell]

In hell, past Frankie Boyle follows present Frankie Boyle around, heckling his socialist speeches by calling him fugly

[Where in Hell?! @WhereInHell]

In hell, flatmates who leave passive agressive post-it notes are actively aggressed by their stationery

[Where in Hell?! @WhereInHell]

In hell, amateur swimmers who do backflips between lengths can only change direction with a cartwheel

[Where in Hell?! @WhereInHell]

In hell, people who serve you cold drinks in a mug have to use chopping boards to eat soup

[Where in Hell?! @WhereInHell]

In hell, people who always speak over you have to attend dinner parties with 10 of their clones

[Where in Hell?! @WhereInHell]

In hell aggressive drivers have their throats replaced with car horns

[Where in Hell?! @WhereInHell]

In hell, birds are woken up by people screaming at their face in the morning

[Where in Hell?! @WhereInHell]

In hell, IT guys can only contact their family through helpdesks

[Where in Hell?! @WhereInHell]

In Hell, people who crack the spines of books get folded in half and discarded on a grimy bedside table

[Where in Hell?! @WhereInHell]

In Hell, ticket touts are last in the queue to get in and have to pay for everyone ahead of them.

[Where in Hell?! @WhereInHell]

In Hell, people who don’t return library books on time are placed in dewey decimal cells and not let out until a librarian checks them out

[Where in Hell?! @WhereInHell]

In hell, in jobs that don't advertise salary, the employees get to pick their own hours