whiterunguard

disgruntled guard who wishes i was dragon born. sick of people complaining about missing sweetrolls. fav magazine is The Lusty Argonian Maid.

[whiterunguard @WhiterunGuard]

@sreed56ace https://t.co/2hvnBhZ43K

[whiterunguard @WhiterunGuard]

Word is there's a new commander of the guard. He's from morrowind too. No more dark elf jokes for me #hatemyjob #skyrim

[whiterunguard @WhiterunGuard]

@TiaElster

[whiterunguard @WhiterunGuard]

@ryanmr1976 spanked monkey? Get it? #fuckface

[whiterunguard @WhiterunGuard]

@Wweguy13 sure you did. What other lies are going to make up? That wrestling is real?

[whiterunguard @WhiterunGuard]

Hey dragon born!!! I found your sweet roll! Are you happy?!? #dickhead #skyrimproblems #skyrim #hatemyjob

[whiterunguard @WhiterunGuard]

Sorry, I'm not tweeting again until the new dlc comes out #oops #skyrim #skyrimproblems

[whiterunguard @WhiterunGuard]

#Diablo3 doesn't have daedra #thatsall #skyrim

[whiterunguard @WhiterunGuard]

600 followers. On behalf of talos I cannot thank you enough. I still don't trust any of you tho #skyrim

[whiterunguard @WhiterunGuard]

@DovahWynn @skyrimguard hey! You walked out without paying your tab. And its not my fault @NordWarrior tried slipping moon sugar in your ale

[whiterunguard @WhiterunGuard]

The fastest way to a woman's heart?
Through her ribcage......with a curved sword. curved. Sword. #skyrim

[whiterunguard @WhiterunGuard]

#UKnowSheWantsItWhen she asks to sharpen your broadsword

[whiterunguard @WhiterunGuard]

@NordWarrior @vegaspanic idk @Lydia_housecarl told me it was bigger than that stack of septims you were carrying around breeze home

[whiterunguard @WhiterunGuard]

@NordWarrior @vegaspanic she told me she loved me

[whiterunguard @WhiterunGuard]

583 followers and none of you could warn me about the storm cloak takeover? #wtf I had unused vacation days Thanks #skyrim #skyrimproblems

[whiterunguard @WhiterunGuard]

#MoneyMayweather would be no match for a drunken Orc #skyrim

[Condescending Wonka @OhWonka]

Oh, you make rude tweets about people without mentioning them? You are so blunt and ruthless

[whiterunguard @WhiterunGuard]

Word is there's a new commander of the guard. He's from morrowind too. No more dark elf jokes for me #hatemyjob #skyrim

[є ¢ т σ ѕ ρ α ѕ м ѕ @ectospasms]

@WhiterunGuard True, but then you'd be eating less bacon. It's not worth it.

[whiterunguard @WhiterunGuard]

I'd probably get a lot more done today if I stopped eating so much bacon #serioustweet

[whiterunguard @WhiterunGuard]

@Belethor_GG could you please tell sigurd I don't need to search his large sack every time he comes back from hammer fell? #creepy #skyrim