Kelp

I don’t know what’s going on ..

[Kelp @WhoKilledReptar]

My tweets have gotten 100% less funny since I stopped working at Rite Aid

[Kelp @WhoKilledReptar]

@GordonRamsay hear me out, Hell’s Kitchen Jr 👀 I wanna see them run the pass and vote eachother out✨

[Kelp @WhoKilledReptar]

But when is @MythicalChef gonna go on #nextlevelchef 👀🔪

[Kelp @WhoKilledReptar]

Every few years I just play the get him to the Greek soundtrack nonstop✨

[Kelp @WhoKilledReptar]

@NFL hi I’d like to pitch a team. Key West Limes. I’ll take my cut of the profits whenever 😘

[Kelp @WhoKilledReptar]

But like is Andy Reid just out here violently licking his mustache when the camera isn’t on him 👀 @Chiefs @NFL

[Kelp @WhoKilledReptar]

@WesWalker77 is making deviled eggs and now our whole house smells like farts😞

[Kelp @WhoKilledReptar]

@annalise_mov It does

[Kelp @WhoKilledReptar]

@annalise_mov 😢

[Kelp @WhoKilledReptar]

R. L. Stine really just woke up one morning and chose violence and hasn’t looked back

[Kelp @WhoKilledReptar]

@annalise_mov IM SORRY

[Kelp @WhoKilledReptar]

I just found out I’m taller than Mosis Arias, and I’m gonna ride that high for the rest of the day

[Kelp @WhoKilledReptar]

When did the spy kids franchise become my comfort movies @darylsabara

[Kelp @WhoKilledReptar]

@annalise_mov I did that with a cardinal once and Chelsey had to like get me out of my hysteric state

[Kelp @WhoKilledReptar]

What would slenderman and elastigirl’s child look like…

[Kelp @WhoKilledReptar]

@annalise_mov I think about that so much wait

[Kelp @WhoKilledReptar]

One thing that really brings me joy is telling people that @CeeLoGreen and I share the same birthday. 🎉

[7-ELEVEn @7eleven]

goodbye August, hello Halloween

[Kelp @WhoKilledReptar]

Nothing says good morning like puking your brains out for the first hour of your day 🥹

[Kelp @WhoKilledReptar]

I’m finally starting to understand how to play snaps and I feel so powerful