Will b. Single

Just a straight guy who loves plants and decorating but has hard luck finding love.

[Will b. Single @Will_b_single]

@sweatsandpizza Then Sara right after:

[Will b. Single @Will_b_single]

They say you are what you eat… so apparently I’m not enough.

[Will b. Single @Will_b_single]

maybe if I develop feelings for COVID-19 it will leave too.
#covid #corona #coronavirus #single

[Will b. Single @Will_b_single]

I have a higher chance of catching coronavirus than a relationship
#corona #coronavirus #covid #covid19

[Will b. Single @Will_b_single]

Me entering another year of singleness:

[Will b. Single @Will_b_single]

CDC: To prevent coronavirus stay home, avoid physical contact with people and don’t go into large crowds.

Me: *always home, never has physical contact with people, dreams about large crowds*

[Will b. Single @Will_b_single]

Like this tweet if you don’t have anyone

[Will b. Single @Will_b_single]

of course i have a date for valentines day.
february 14th.
no but personally no one loves me.

[Will b. Single @Will_b_single]

Just took a DNA test and it turns out I’m 100% alone.
#Science

[Will b. Single @Will_b_single]

I poked myself on fb to remember what it feels like to be touched
#feltbetterthaniremembered

[Will b. Single @Will_b_single]

My belt loop snagged on my doorknob when I was trying to leave a room and I realized that my door tried harder for me to stay than women did.

[Will b. Single @Will_b_single]

My friend heard me say “I’m going home to see Karen” and thought I was talking about a girl.
Karen is a plant.
Mission accomplished.

[Will b. Single @Will_b_single]

My last opportunity for love just walked on the elevator to leave and I’m over here on Pinterest like a potato making sure I have a decent color scheme for my room hashtagmistake

[Will b. Single @Will_b_single]

People behind me have been playing Rock Paper Scissors for over an hour, but instead of saying “rock paper scissors” they are saying “uno dos tres”.

btw I wish I could uno dos not get rejected by women

[Will b. Single @Will_b_single]

*Boards plane and always sits in the middle seat so that two people have to love him for the duration of the flight*

[Will b. Single @Will_b_single]

I keep two toothbrushes so that I can pretend someone loves me

[Will b. Single @Will_b_single]

If only women would look at me the way the old dude in the sauna does.