katherine williams

I’m a comic standing infront of a comedy show producer asking them to book me

[katherine williams @WillyBilliams1]

@CityRailUpdate were late- wait for us @ChiliPeppersMX

[katherine williams @WillyBilliams1]

The signs of having to do a mental acuity test is being forced to do a mental acuity test.

[katherine williams @WillyBilliams1]

Should we turn 2020 off, wait three seconds, then turn back on?

[katherine williams @WillyBilliams1]

NBA set to return late summer and play all games at Disney World, Florida. Instead of Robert DeNiro Court side, it’s the Florida man charged with assault after throwing alligator through a Wendy’s drive-thru

[katherine williams @WillyBilliams1]

These guys will do anything to escape this shit

[katherine williams @WillyBilliams1]

Shall we just make all USA cops watch Police Academy 1-8?

[katherine williams @WillyBilliams1]

@tommy_oregan Isn’t that rn in isolation?

[katherine williams @WillyBilliams1]

If the @FOXNRL can do a virtual crowd cheer why can’t @comedy have the same?

[katherine williams @WillyBilliams1]

Quarantine achievement checklist
✅Sign up to online yoga
✅Bake banana bread
✅Go too hard on chips and guac before eating homemade tacos, like, everyday

[katherine williams @WillyBilliams1]

I will never click the update button on Zoom.

[katherine williams @WillyBilliams1]

Just yelled at the TV “outtta the way vending machine guy!!!”

[katherine williams @WillyBilliams1]

Got plans tomorrow so gotta push back doing nothing.

[katherine williams @WillyBilliams1]

When the @woolworths delivery comes and we gotta wipe down our food

[katherine williams @WillyBilliams1]

Living at home during quarantine when dad walks into the kitchen:

[katherine williams @WillyBilliams1]

After living in New York during COVID, Australia is bloody safe. I sneezed in public today and instead of saying “bless you” someone said “thank you”.

[katherine williams @WillyBilliams1]

Ratings for The Bachelor Presents: Listen to Your Heart drop. Producers: just add another hot tub

[katherine williams @WillyBilliams1]

EQUAL

[Jimmy Kimmel @jimmykimmel]

I can think of no better metaphor for this presidency than Donald Trump not wearing a face mask to a face mask factory while the song “Live and Let Die” blares in the background.

[katherine williams @WillyBilliams1]

Who said quarantine isn’t busy for comics? I booked 5 Zoom shows, 3 IG Live Stories and a PowerPoint deck

[katherine williams @WillyBilliams1]

@betsyfarber HA!

[katherine williams @WillyBilliams1]

Invisible virus, murder hornets... what’s next? Killer plants?