William H. Wonka

[William H. Wonka @WillyHWonka]

Good morning, sunshine! The earth says hello!

[William H. Wonka @WillyHWonka]

I just got a #VampireBite. What's with all the crazy vampires around here?

[William H. Wonka @WillyHWonka]

@JustineCullen You're REALLY weird!

[William H. Wonka @WillyHWonka]

@JustineCullen Nuh-uh! No WAY! Youuuuuuu get meeeeeeee more followers!

[William H. Wonka @WillyHWonka]

@Equestrian90 I wanna go hoooome! But I can't! My glass elevator is still busted because I can't rustle up the 1.2 jiggawatts I need for it!

[William H. Wonka @WillyHWonka]

@Equestrian90 Oh, *you*! I didn't recognize you. Not with the--thing. And the...whatever *that* is. Well, hiya! How's life treating you?

[William H. Wonka @WillyHWonka]

@Equestrian90 Which one? I've got lots of friends. Loads of them! And they're waiting to see me when I come home to my chocolate factory!

[William H. Wonka @WillyHWonka]

@Equestrian90 Gah! Who are *you*?

[William H. Wonka @WillyHWonka]

Greetings, @JustineCullen! Why should I do that, little girl?

[William H. Wonka @WillyHWonka]

@__Davros__ ...wow. Y'know, it might help if you had a bowl of oatmeal or an apple. Or laxatives. Those'll put you in a really great mood!

[William H. Wonka @WillyHWonka]

@nathanrdotca Ewwww, creepy! Why would anyone wanna talk to snakes? They don't have anything intelligent to say. They're just snakes!

[William H. Wonka @WillyHWonka]

I could've sworn he said his name was "Riddle," but I couldn't hear him too well. He had this raspy scary voice. Scaaaaaaaaaary!

[William H. Wonka @WillyHWonka]

See, when I was in Latvia once, looking for exotic new ingredients for my "Black Forest Fudge," I came across an odd dude in a purple turban

[William H. Wonka @WillyHWonka]

@nathanrdotca Wow, *that's* what he looked like? Then what the heck happened to him? He looks awful now! Like a hung-up dried up snake. Ew!

[William H. Wonka @WillyHWonka]

@Equestrian90 I *am* doing something productive, you ninny! Why don't *you* go do something productive, like pick your nose?

[William H. Wonka @WillyHWonka]

@nathanrdotca Hmmm. Uh, was he a weird looking fellow with a purple turban? Like this guy? http://tr.im/iYnf

[William H. Wonka @WillyHWonka]

I prefer to make chocolate--and sell it, and control the *world* with it, since nobody can live without my wonderful sweets.

[William H. Wonka @WillyHWonka]

Blood's blood. It's still dirty, no matter how clean you think it is. That's why it's not worth sweating the small stuff like that.

[William H. Wonka @WillyHWonka]

It's incredibly dull worrying about whose blood is "cleaner" or "purer" than whose, isn't it? And it's kinda dumb if you think about it.

[William H. Wonka @WillyHWonka]

@__Davros__ See, this is why I'm a much better Slytherin than Voldemort would ever be. I control the entire *world* with my chocolate!