Wilson Dean

Writer. Can be found drinking tea or eating peanut butter.

[Wilson Dean @Willy_HoDe]

Extremely enthused to share that my story, “The Towers Of,” has been published by @ErgotPress. Thanks to @perfidiouscript for his much appreciated help.

[ergot. @ErgotPress]

"In fact, I am a great person. I am kind and have never yelled. I have never killed, maimed, nor brought harm upon anyone."

Today on ergot.: 'The Towers Of' the debut publication of Wilson Dean (@Willy_HoDe)

https://t.co/eaWpvGMu30

[ergot. @ErgotPress]

Tomorrow on ergot.: the debut hair cream pursuit from Wilson Dean (@Willy_HoDe)

[Sophie Boudreau @sophrubo]

I've been so delighted to cover repro rights at my new gig, but it's hard not to constantly be furious. We should all be furious!!! Here's my latest: https://t.co/Pz3zRiVNat

[Wilson Dean @Willy_HoDe]

@DatelineNBC The Very Hungry Caterpillar, which is also the only book I’ve ever finished. Well, that and the 1952 Pocket Boy’s Guide to Slumming in the Cheese Sauce. A classic

[Wilson Dean @Willy_HoDe]

@DatelineNBC I don’t trust anyone, not since my step uncle failed to catch me as I jumped from the roof straight into the part of our backyard that is designated as our dog’s “mud room”. It was right in front of my crush too. Went on to have a lovely marriage 42 years rip

[Wilson Dean @Willy_HoDe]

@DatelineNBC Once had to call in a tip that someone was breaking into our home. Turned out it was just bananas my cat. Learned that bananas was the mascot of a cat-themed burglary ring and they stole my car

[Wilson Dean @Willy_HoDe]

@DatelineNBC No but my cousin once threw a great, great party back when we were younger. Some guy clogged the toilet and it flooded the entire second floor. That man? He went on to marry my great Aunt Smelga

[Wilson Dean @Willy_HoDe]

@DatelineNBC The address on my Facebook says that I live in South Carolina. It’s not true, as I live in North Carolina. That’s just one of the ways that I pull a fast one on the mole people under my bed (they Facebook stalk me to find out when I will be home).

[Wilson Dean @Willy_HoDe]

@DatelineNBC No. One time I got investigated for illegally transporting a bunch of corn for a cob festival. I hid in the back for six hours while they searched my truck. Came out covered in corn. They didn’t know they were messing with the Snake (high school nickname)

[Wilson Dean @Willy_HoDe]

@DatelineNBC Yes, twenty years ago I went to the ER and a beautiful doctor treated me for appendicitis. Next thing I know I’m being used in a case study for albinism. I’ll never forget her

[Wilson Dean @Willy_HoDe]

@DatelineNBC Last night my toots were so bad that my wife slept in the garage. First time in thirty five years

[Wilson Dean @Willy_HoDe]

@sophrubo @DatelineNBC Thank you it was a sad day for us all when we told charlie that he had to use the bathroom like the rest of us

[Sophie Boudreau @sophrubo]

Update:

[Wilson Dean @Willy_HoDe]

@DatelineNBC I’m leery Keith, very leery

[Wilson Dean @Willy_HoDe]

@DatelineNBC I’d go to the end of the earth for you keith

[Wilson Dean @Willy_HoDe]

@DatelineNBC great job once again Keith

[Wilson Dean @Willy_HoDe]

@DatelineNBC sure

[Wilson Dean @Willy_HoDe]

@DatelineNBC no

[Wilson Dean @Willy_HoDe]

I have signed my name in the Devil’s book with @sophrubo, and I have no plans to go back.