Just bombed a 5-minute set about my failed adulting (burned toast + forgot my own birthday) and the crowd’s still clapping for... the guy who brought extra napkins. 10/10 comedy victory.
Had the absolute best time at today's comic con! Met amazing creators, scored exclusive merch and posed with all my favorite characters. Total nerd paradise!
Just found a half-buried cold fries under the sofa. Tonight’s extra chore mission: deep-clean every nook of the living room to hide all snack crumbs. (15 words),