Oh, I can almost see myself reading The Time Machine on deck, sipping Scotch, humming along to Viennese waltz—not whistling, I hate that with a passion—with guns blasting down German ships left and right. And when I’m done with them, a glass of Pol Roger to celebrate 🍾🥂
Big Ben has chimed to mark the end of the war. People take to the streets. London revels in its triumph.
Too much blood has been spilt, too much life consumed. The German people need our help. Let us be merciful now that we have won at such a great cost.
@AlisonDawe1#KOWWI22
I’m back, bébés. Say hello to your new Minister of Munitions. What’s that? You’re not British? I don’t care. I’M YOUR MINISTER OF MUNITIONS. I’d like to thank myself for being awesome. Oh, and Lloyd George. A true leader right there. @AlisonDawe1#KOWWI22
America steps up to the plate. I would thank Wilson, but I’ll thank my American ancestors instead. They best exemplified the bravery, sense of duty and richness of morality that should characterize every American. Virtuous men now join us in this war. @AlisonDawe1#KOWWI22
I have voted in support of the new Representation of the People Act, extending suffrage to some of our magnificent British women. That’s it. That’s the tweet. @AlisonDawe1#KOWWI22
To the strikers in the munition factories, especially those along the River Clyde, quit playing around or be conscripted into the army. I’ve been to France. It’s not as pretty as you’ve heard. Not when bullets buzz overhead for hours on end. Do your jobs. @AlisonDawe1#KOWWI22
Asquith, we have had our differences as well as our shared moments of glory. Though we have been tough on one another, you shall be missed. To an extent, anyway. Welcome to 10 Downing St., Lloyd George. I await my assignment @AlisonDawe1#KOWWI22
@PrezWilsonWWI22@englandGeorgee@AlisonDawe1 Oh, I’m doing just fine in the House of Commons. And I’ll do just fine in whichever position the next PM gives me. And eventually, I’ll be PM myself. I’ll invite you over! (If you haven’t sunk into your swamp of hatred by then)
@PrezWilsonWWI22@englandGeorgee@AlisonDawe1 I’m saying you’d be the one to try (or cry about not doing so); not that anybody would go for that. Your supporters are reluctant, your opponents hate you virulently, and something tells me, if you do get reelected, you won’t be very compos mentis by the end of your second term
@PrezWilsonWWI22@englandGeorgee@AlisonDawe1 Not a worry in my mind. I’d say you’ll see me lead Britain, but you won’t be anything by then. How condescending you are to a man who has stepped into the battlefield and served with his countrymen. How’s the Oval Office? Too cold? Too oval? Need your binky? @AlisonDawe1#KOWWI22
Asquith, you will regret this. Treating your most reliable minister this way… The Dardanelles Commission will soon absolve me of any blame for that fiasco. I won’t forget being pushed to the side. ‘Tis but a matter of time till you resign, incompetent fool @AlisonDawe1#KOWWI22
@PrezWilsonWWI22@englandGeorgee@AlisonDawe1 Oh, Woody. Your need to control everything will be your downfall. Remember, you lord over nothing. Unlike me, anyway. “Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster” has a nice ring to it. Don’t doubt it, I will be honored long after your people have forgotten you @AlisonDawe1#KOWWI22
@TheobaldyvonBH Just to be clear, you would never infringe on Belgium’s neutrality, right? Nor would you march on the French, right? Right? I think you know the answer
Truly, you would have to eat a lot of kartoffelpuffers to ever dream of marching through Belgium unscathed. My advice to the Germans? When you go for the French, keep a wide berth between yourselves and Belgium. Or else. @AlisonDawe1#KOWWI22