Witness

[Futurist🇿🇼 @WaltJackman]

News Headline in 2032

Introducing 15% VAT on Lobola. 😅

If you are not confident that the Tezvaras will remit the tax to the Revenue Authority, then as the mukuwasha it becomes your duty to deduct 15% VAT from the lobola invoice and remit it directly.

Please ensure the Lobola List clearly states whether amounts are VAT Inclusive or VAT Exclusive. 😂💍📄

[In A Nutshell🥜 @Markosonke1]

Nothing exposes fake love faster than hard times

[David Coltart @DavidColtart]

What an accurate headline just missing a few words though - “and their”…time in power.

[Jamwanda @Jamwanda2]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑺𝒂𝒍𝒕 𝑶𝒇 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑬𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒉 @Shadaya_Knight]

Man to man: You're now that person who is always tired, leaves early and comes late. You're now experiencing what your father experienced. Do you now forgive him for not always being there?

[ᗩl wᗩdᑌd_tᕼe sIᗰᑭ @_MakdShelby]

What breaks my soul is that EVERYONE in that room knows what he is saying is TRUE and cannot be Debated , but they are just TOO SELFISH to acknowledge for self interests and they DONT GIVE A FVCK ! 😭💔

Lord When ???

[Futurist🇿🇼 @WaltJackman]

I was laughing with a friend the other day and realized something sad about our generation.

Many of us are pushing 40, yet we have never seen a genuine Title Deed in our lives. So when an opportunity to buy property comes along and someone hands you a fake Title Deed, how are you supposed to know the difference when you have never handled a real one before?

It’s funny when you think about it, but it’s also worrying. Many ordinary people are trying to secure a home or invest their hard-earned savings, yet they are navigating a system they were never taught to understand.

Perhaps before we blame victims of property scams, we should ask why basic property ownership knowledge is not more accessible to ordinary citizens.

[Freeman @freemanchari]

I will share this daily until everyone in Zimbabwe has seen how much of an unrepentant liar Mnangagwa is.

[Showdown Trends @ShowdownTrends]

A very civilized man among the lot has spoken wisdom.

[Witness @Witness09656184]

@FabrizioRomano @grok explain to me like a kid

[Shegun 🌪️🌟 @ShegunTweets]

this never made sense to me. how do you give away something that was never yours to begin with?

[Hopewell Chin’ono @daddyhope]

South Africans watching President Cyril Ramaphosa’s speech like it was a deleted scene from The Wolf of Wall Street. 🤣🤣🤣

Leonardo DiCaprio:
“I’M NOT LEAVING!!!”

President Ramaphosa:
“My fellow South Africans, I respectfully want to make it clear that I will not resign…”

At this point somebody must just edit the two videos together with the crowd in Parliament beating tables like Wall Street traders. 🤣🤣🤣
The only thing missing is Julius Malema standing up at the back shouting:
“SHOW ME THE MONEY!!!”🤣🤣🤣

President Cyril Ramaphosa watched Leonardo DiCaprio in The Wolf of Wall Street and truly said;
“Yes. This is the energy I need.” 🤣🤣🤣

[𝐂𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐖𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐙𝐖 @CrimeWatchZW]

A frightening video shows criminals trying to break into a house in Mahatshula East. Fortunately, one of the residents heard suspicious noises and managed to record the face of one of the suspects during the attempted break-in.

Anyone who can identify this man is urged to report to the nearest @PoliceZimbabwe station immediately.

🎥 @Mathuthu

[Defiant Ghost @TheDefiantGhost]

Former CIA officer John Kiriakou dropped the scariest sleeper agent story you’ll ever hear.

The Russians (and others) take kids basically from birth, rip them from their families, and raise them in fake American towns deep in Russia. American food, American TV, perfect American accent — the whole thing.

Then they steal the identity of a dead American baby, get them a legit passport and Social Security number, and drop them into the U.S.

They live normal lives for decades — travel agent, dad, neighbor, until one day they get “activated.”A coded radio message. Or a stranger whispering in their ear on the subway:

“Report back… or I have to kill you.”

One guy turned himself in to the FBI the second his daughter was born. He couldn’t do it anymore.

This stuff is happening. How many “Americans” around you right now are actually waiting for that call?

[DON “Tobechukwu” Ade 👑 @Row_Haastrup]

I think every black South African needs to see this…

Apartheid indeed won

[JAN VAN POTGIETER 💭🇿🇦 @SciiTheComedist]

If you can Just listen to the topics discussed by women on podcasts?😭 You won’t believe it. It’s always about Men, Cheating, Sex, Gossip and stupid things😭😭 They don’t condemn they condone while explaining how it’s done ‘properly’ 😭

[BBC News Africa @BBCAfrica]

"It's a lie... My children are not mine."
BBC's Focus on Africa podcast spoke to Dr. Peter Ngumba, a lab technologist in Kenya who decided to test the paternity of his two children.
Paternity testing is rising across Africa, one Nigerian lab saw a rise of 28.8% in 2025. 👇🏾

[#ReclaimD1 @ReclaimD1]

Older women have no idea about the mindset of a young H🐱3. They will F‼️CK your husband then post a Tik Tok about how their sneaky link always talks about his fat, old, annoying wife when she’s giving him head 😂👑

[MISS VAL THE BLOCKING QUEEN❤️ @thatzambezichic]

What the actual fuck🤷🏾‍♀️

[Dr. God Abeg ooo @josh_uglyasf]

Ryan was up to something here🤣🤣🤣