Condescending Wonka

I'm condescending. You're not sure what condescending means? That's so adorable!

[Condescending Wonka @WittyWillyW]

Oh, I was going to say a gay joke, butt fuck it now.

[Condescending Wonka @WittyWillyW]

Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.

[Condescending Wonka @WittyWillyW]

Oh, you're only using birth control because of really bad period symptoms? Yes, I'm positive that's the only reason.

[Condescending Wonka @WittyWillyW]

The worst thing about having ADD and OCD is that I forget to wash my hands 50 times a day.

[Condescending Wonka @WittyWillyW]

Luge strategy? Lie flat and try not to die.

[Condescending Wonka @WittyWillyW]

How the hell does one cup of coffee equal one gallon of piss?!?

[Condescending Wonka @WittyWillyW]

Playing basketball with practially every item we throw in to the trash.

[Condescending Wonka @WittyWillyW]

I go to school where the students are higher than their grades.

[Condescending Wonka @WittyWillyW]

Don't steal, don't lie and don't cheat. The government hates competition!

[Condescending Wonka @WittyWillyW]

Oh, I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I really thought you already knew!

[Condescending Wonka @WittyWillyW]

Looking at you're old baby pictures and thinking, 'What the hell was I wearing?'

[Condescending Wonka @WittyWillyW]

Oh, your miIkshakes bring all the boys into the yard? My chocolate makes the world go crazy.

[Condescending Wonka @WittyWillyW]

Oh, you're 13 years old, you smoke, you're not a virgin, and you wear more make-up than you do clothes? Your mother must be so proud.

[Condescending Wonka @WittyWillyW]

If I were a bird, you'd be the first person I'd shit on.

[Condescending Wonka @WittyWillyW]

Dear Board of Education, so are we.

[Condescending Wonka @WittyWillyW]

If you're going to get in trouble for hitting someone, might as will hit them hard.

[Condescending Wonka @WittyWillyW]

The truth is, = 'Here's a lie I've had some time to work on'

[Condescending Wonka @WittyWillyW]

I'd love to make money at home in my spare time. But counterfeiting is harder than you'd think.

[Condescending Wonka @WittyWillyW]

She's actually really cool once you get to know her = not cool at all.

[Condescending Wonka @WittyWillyW]

It was an accident officer. I was cleaning my fingernails. With a hunting knife. And he ran into me. Backwards. 17 times.