A healing stage is disgust. Yes, disgust. You will be DISGUSTED by the people whose love you seeked. You will feel embarrassed about the choices you made and the people who had access to you who didn’t deserve it. Feel this feeling then let it go.
That will NEVER be you again.
If you withdraw, shut down, or isolate when you are overwhelmed, you likely have an avoidant attachment style. When you were a child, you could’ve been left to handle intense emotions by yourself or not taught to self regulate so now you always feel you need to be alone to cope.