@fesshole I used to work at a jewellers. A man came in and said, "Have you got a potato clock?". I said, "Never heard of it, but we have carriage clocks and cuckoo clocks". He said, "That's no good, you see I have a new job that starts at 9, and my wife said I need to get a potato clock".
@footydevotion Fer ark in her later days. Best pitch in the country because we put a load of shit on it every two weeks. First place to hold a competitive penalty shootout, had its own railway halt and the tallest floodlights in the country. What a place xx❤️
I’m calling on my MP @DavidDavisMP to back Long Live The Local. Pubs and breweries need our support! Sign today at https://t.co/0WenMqVwzt #longlivethelocal
You want to get Boris? Here's how you get him him. He brings a cupcake, you bring a Colin the Caterpillar. He brings a battenburg, you bring a Victoria sandwich. He puts one of yours in a meringue, you put two of his in a gateux. That's the Westminster way.