Condescending Wonka

I'm condescending. That means I talk down to you.

[Condescending Wonka @WonkaPage]

I am so ready for Christmas movies and Christmas Songs and snow and all that other sappy amazing Winter stuff...

[Condescending Wonka @WonkaPage]

If guns kill people, then pencils misspell words, cars make people drive drunk, and spoons make you fat.

[Condescending Wonka @WonkaPage]

When a girl says she'll be ready in 5 more minutes, she's using the same time scale as when a guy says the game has 5 minutes left.

[Condescending Wonka @WonkaPage]

That very sad moment of heartbreak when your pet jumps off your bed and leaves the room.

[Condescending Wonka @WonkaPage]

"Hey babe, you smell that?" "No." "Me neither, start cooking."

[Condescending Wonka @WonkaPage]

When you're singing a song and someone else joins in... "Bitch, this isn't High School Musical."

[Condescending Wonka @WonkaPage]

Tips to Make Hair Grow Fast and Healthy - https://t.co/9koMWFqoet

[Condescending Wonka @WonkaPage]

It's amazing how everyone is suddenly a political genius one month every 4 years...

[Condescending Wonka @WonkaPage]

Quick And Easy Exercises to Tone Lower Body - https://t.co/FcZNEhIpZw

[Condescending Wonka @WonkaPage]

Interesting Pictures from the Past - https://t.co/9TwSmDYAZ9

[Condescending Wonka @WonkaPage]

We just made eye contact... she wants the D.

[Condescending Wonka @WonkaPage]

Clapping the longest during an assembly because you're a fearless bastard.

[Condescending Wonka @WonkaPage]

How's your day going? ... Haha, I'm just kidding. I don't give a fuck.

[Condescending Wonka @WonkaPage]

9 out of 10 guys like girls with big boobs and the 10th guy likes the other 9 guys.

[Condescending Wonka @WonkaPage]

Baby is that a phone in your back pocket? Because dat ass is calling me...

[Condescending Wonka @WonkaPage]

I wish I had Kim Kardashian’s talent of not having any talent and making money out of it

[Condescending Wonka @WonkaPage]

I saw some ducks practicing their teenage girl faces at the pond today.

[Condescending Wonka @WonkaPage]

Vodka is just awesome water.

[Condescending Wonka @WonkaPage]

Statistics show that the best time to wear a striped sweater. Is all the time.

[Condescending Wonka @WonkaPage]

(In class) 1+1=2. (Exercises) 1+2+1=4. (Test) John buy 4 oranges. He eats one and gives another to Ted. Calculate the sun's mass.