Dave the Minion

My life consists of sarcasm and sass. I tweet a little of everything. Follow me up?

[Dave the Minion @WordsOfAMinion]

LOL GUESS WHOS BACK

[Dave the Minion @WordsOfAMinion]

With great power, comes a great electricity bill.

[Dave the Minion @WordsOfAMinion]

I'm not lazy, I'm just practicing for my retirement.

[Dave the Minion @WordsOfAMinion]

Cheering for a raindrop as it races down your window.

[Dave the Minion @WordsOfAMinion]

I can probably carry all my groceries in the bags under my eyes.

[Dave the Minion @WordsOfAMinion]

*Hides food from everyone*

[Dave the Minion @WordsOfAMinion]

Does anyone want to do 3 rts for 3 rts?

[Dave the Minion @WordsOfAMinion]

Turn up your music and drown out your problems.

[Dave the Minion @WordsOfAMinion]

Some people are proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.

[Dave the Minion @WordsOfAMinion]

I'd agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.

[Dave the Minion @WordsOfAMinion]

Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

[Dave the Minion @WordsOfAMinion]

You're so stupid, you had to call 411 to get the number for 911.

[Dave the Minion @WordsOfAMinion]

I mess up so much. I should have a TV show on TLC.

[Dave the Minion @WordsOfAMinion]

There's nothing better than sleeping in.

[Dave the Minion @WordsOfAMinion]

Are you an angel that fell from heaven? Because I'm pretty sure you're Lucifer.

[Dave the Minion @WordsOfAMinion]

*loses followers* THE BIBLE SAID ADAM AND EVE NOT ADAM AND LEAVE!!!!!

[Dave the Minion @WordsOfAMinion]

I may be a terrible friend, but I'm YOUR terrible friend.

[Dave the Minion @WordsOfAMinion]

*has an existensial crisis*

[Dave the Minion @WordsOfAMinion]

She's cheer captain and I'm sitting on the internet.

[Dave the Minion @WordsOfAMinion]

*cough* slut