Worf Email

No longer permitted to post here. (Written and automated by @JoeSondow) Mastodon: @[email protected] Bluesky: @WorfEmail.bsky.social

[Worf Email @WorfEmail]

All crew,

We have updated our privacy policy for all Enterprise crew members.

The policy describes how we use internal sensors to generate a transporter signature of your brain and body at the quantum level, and when and how we transmit that info to third-party planets.

Worf

[Worf Email @WorfEmail]

Worf no longer posts emails here but he is now regularly posting emails on
M🐘stod🐘n and 🔵sky

@[email protected]

@WorfEmail.bsky.social

[Riker Googling @RikerGoogling]

Thank you for nine years of googling and laughing with me. Most of my accounts are now suspended. This account is ending intentionally so you can still scroll back and see the old tweets.

Riker continues googling at https://t.co/3H3OrDtgrJ

Goodbye Twitter. It was fun.

[Joe Sondow @JoeSondow]

There are seven differences between these two pictures.

❤ Like when you've found 3.
🔁 RT when you've found all 7.

[Worf Email @WorfEmail]

Mother,

Been thinking about life and mortality today. I’d rather die gloriously in battle than from a virus. In a way it doesn’t matter. But it kinda does.

Worf

[Worf Email @WorfEmail]

Commander Riker,

I am enroute.

At first I was uncomfortable with this assignment but I must confess I am curious to see what all the fuss is about. Would you have any objections if I unwrapped the plastic and examined the contents before delivering it to you?

Worf

[Worf Email @WorfEmail]

Commander Riker,

I have located the Earth item you requested. I will be returning to the Enterprise in four days. Do you want me to bring it to your quarters or hand it to you on the bridge or wait until poker night?

Worf

[Worf Email @WorfEmail]

Data,

The object is made up of the animal’s fur. Dr. Crusher says it is a normal occurrence. You do not need to worry. I have the situation under control. The animal will not die.

Worf

[Worf Email @WorfEmail]

Data,

I have followed your instructions. However, your animal has produced a strange wet object on the carpet in my quarters. I have sent the object to Dr. Crusher for analysis. I will notify you when she has made her diagnosis.

Worf

[Worf Email @WorfEmail]

Geordi,

Are we going to resume our D&D game soon? I have not yet had the chance to wield my warhammer +3 in battle.

Worf

[Worf Email @WorfEmail]

Commander,

I would like to increase the number of security officers posted on each deck by a factor of three. There are teenagers aboard this ship.

Worf

[Worf Email @WorfEmail]

⠀

[Worf Email @WorfEmail]

Security personnel,

Starting now the daily stand up meeting is compulsory. Report to weapons locker 2 at the start of your shift. There will be no further excuses.

Worf

[Worf Email @WorfEmail]

Dr. Crusher,

I do not understand the part you have assigned me in your play. Why does Puck want Bottom to have the head of an animal?

Worf

[Worf Email @WorfEmail]

Security personnel,

Fight Club is canceled this week.

Worf

[Worf Email @WorfEmail]

Barclay,

No, there is no such thing as a butter bat’leth.

By definition a bat’leth is very sharp.

Worf

[Worf Email @WorfEmail]

O’Brien,

What would happen if someone energized a transporter console slider too slowly?

Worf

[Worf Email @WorfEmail]

Commander Riker,

Again, I apologize.

Worf

[Worf Email @WorfEmail]

Geordi,

No one has been receiving my emails for many months. This is a significant security risk and it must be fixed.

Worf

[Worf Email @WorfEmail]

Geordi,

The vampire ships will reach us in less than two days. Have we saved enough daylight to arm all 47 daylight torpedoes?

Worf

[Worf Email @WorfEmail]

Geordi,

I have received an encrypted message. I am not certain how to decrypt it. Assist me.

Worf

[Worf Email @WorfEmail]

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