All crew,
We have updated our privacy policy for all Enterprise crew members.
The policy describes how we use internal sensors to generate a transporter signature of your brain and body at the quantum level, and when and how we transmit that info to third-party planets.
Worf
Thank you for nine years of googling and laughing with me. Most of my accounts are now suspended. This account is ending intentionally so you can still scroll back and see the old tweets.
Riker continues googling at https://t.co/3H3OrDtgrJ
Goodbye Twitter. It was fun.
Mother,
Been thinking about life and mortality today. I’d rather die gloriously in battle than from a virus. In a way it doesn’t matter. But it kinda does.
Worf
Commander Riker,
I am enroute.
At first I was uncomfortable with this assignment but I must confess I am curious to see what all the fuss is about. Would you have any objections if I unwrapped the plastic and examined the contents before delivering it to you?
Worf
Commander Riker,
I have located the Earth item you requested. I will be returning to the Enterprise in four days. Do you want me to bring it to your quarters or hand it to you on the bridge or wait until poker night?
Worf
Data,
The object is made up of the animal’s fur. Dr. Crusher says it is a normal occurrence. You do not need to worry. I have the situation under control. The animal will not die.
Worf
Data,
I have followed your instructions. However, your animal has produced a strange wet object on the carpet in my quarters. I have sent the object to Dr. Crusher for analysis. I will notify you when she has made her diagnosis.
Worf
Commander,
I would like to increase the number of security officers posted on each deck by a factor of three. There are teenagers aboard this ship.
Worf
Security personnel,
Starting now the daily stand up meeting is compulsory. Report to weapons locker 2 at the start of your shift. There will be no further excuses.
Worf