I'm not a comedian but I play one on Twitter. Shenanigans. Because life is more fun when you're up to something. Current fat kid former hottie. Complete weirdo.
I asked my five year old what he wanted for Christmas so I can start my shopping and not be one of those last minute shoppers. He said he wanted Santa Claus. The whole ass person.
I've been seeing people posting about leaving Twitter because of Elon Musk and that he will turn it in to a cesspool. *waves arms at booty eating tweets* why y'all acting like y'all have standards now?