Not Todaymond

15.05.17🌹

[Not Todaymond @Wrochi99]

Oh!
Okay, fair enough!

[Frank Mwiti @frank_mwiti]

Quickmart is coming to the NSE Kenya.

Offering 50% of the company, 2 billion shares, to investors.

📍 72 stores | 16 counties
💰 FY25 revenue: KES 50.4bn
📈 Adjusted PAT: KES 1.7bn
💵 Target dividend payout: 80%+ of PAT

No new capital raise. This is an offer for sale and will be a major new consumer-sector listing on the NSE 👏🏾

[Not Todaymond @Wrochi99]

😂

[Gichuki Kahome @kahome_steve]

The NSE waiting to open today:😂

[Not Todaymond @Wrochi99]

😭

[Sojourner and Stranger @JohnHiuhu]

Tunanunua na Nini! We already bought the dip and the dip dipped.

[Not Todaymond @Wrochi99]

@jakawiti I wish man, I wish 🤣

[Not Todaymond @Wrochi99]

Long distance is...interesting

[Not Todaymond @Wrochi99]

What an anticlimactic derby!

[BNF @bnf_039]

I’m currently 28. i have 700 days to 30.

clearly, a lot is probably going to unfold in-between.

i hope to have invested $100K before my 30th birthday. this will be netting me $10k monthly returns.

GODSPEED.

[CPA Wachira Joseph @WashiraX]

Last week I was in Nyandarua training milk farmers on eTIMS.

Their good customer, the dairy company that they sell milk to had organized the training for them.

When I was leaving, they gave me mutūngi mūgima wa iria ria kugagatia to carry back home.

Man listen, there is no milk in Kenya that can beat Nyandarua milk in terms of thickness. Not even girirando. Take that from me. I am the one telling you.

But after interacting with these farmers, this is my conclusion:

- If there is one group of people who genuinely need to understand eTIMS and its tax implications, it is our glorious farmers.

Why?

Many companies buying milk from farmers simply tell them. Kiwanuha tuletee eTIMS receipt ndio tukulipe pesa yako.

So the farmer runs to the cyber, gets the eTIMS receipt and complies.

But they do not understand what they are doing.
They have no clue what that eTIMS receipt means from a tax perspective.

At the end of the year, KRA can clearly see, through eTIMS, that you sold milk worth 1.2 million.

But because no one taught the farmer eTIMS implications, the farmer never collected eTIMS receipts from the agrovet when buying:

• Animal feeds
• Fertilizer.
• Seedlings.
• Farm chemicals.
• Animal drugs.
• Labour.
• Transport, etc

Their legit costs remain totally invisible. But their sales are fully visible to KRA.

Then trouble begins.

KRA sees the 1.2 million in sales. But sees almost zero deductible costs.
It is as if the milk fell from heaven.

So KRA retreats to Times Tower and treat the 1.2m as your farming profit.
Then demands about 30% income tax.
That is a whopping sh 300,000 tax.

But the farmer does not have that kind of money.

The money already went into animal feeds, workers, transport, veterinary costs, preparing the farm and keeping the cows producing milk.

The farmer is then left helpless before KRA.

This is why eTIMS education cannot stop at telling farmers how to issue receipts.

They need to understand the whole picture. That if your sales are being captured through eTIMS, you need to keep proper records and supporting eTIMS receipts for your legitimate expenses too.

If there is one group that deserves intensive training on eTIMS and its implications, it is our glorious farmers.

I'd also urge KRA to go to the village. To the farmers. To interact & educate them.

Explain practically what eTIMS means for them in Swahili or mother tongue.

It will make tax compliance easier and friendlier.

Please enlighten the farmers in your community.

They feed us all.

[gatwiri @gatwiri_c]

The others Kenyan food item with complex flavour is tea. I have tried few recipes but the best is:

Boil Tea leaves in water +spices if using
Add milk, ratio 2:1
Simmer
Aerate (most important)

Spices: cinnamon, cardamom, 2 cloves, pilipili kwa umbali (2-3 black pepper)

[Not Todaymond @Wrochi99]

@billienyakawa Sending you a DM

[Not Todaymond @Wrochi99]

@mkj69247 😂🤦🏿‍♂️

[CMS Invests @cmsinvests]

THE STOCK MARKET ON MONDAY

[Not Todaymond @Wrochi99]

😂😂😂

[Big Mobii @mobiiszn]

😭

[Not Todaymond @Wrochi99]

@ukfdrumnbass Thank you for the 24/7 station 🥲

[Not Todaymond @Wrochi99]

@nino_rennie Someone was caught with stolen goods on my site

[Not Todaymond @Wrochi99]

Going to a police station this afternoon was not on my bingo card

[Carte Blanche @blanchecarte__]

@MrFamilyOffice Everything is wrong. In different ways, big and small, but it’s all wrong in some way. Liberating when you realize that.

[Silver Fox 🦊 @livin_omanga]

Mimi hii solo practice ndio nimeona shege ... Until uone pesa kwa account, people remain potential clients 😹😹

[The Standard Digital @StandardKenya]

THE STANDARD GROUP PLC

PRESS STATEMENT
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Nairobi, Kenya - September 2, 2026

ALEX KIPROTICH FOUND SAFE

The Standard Group PLC is relieved to inform the public that our Associate Editor, Alex Kiprotich, has been found safe this morning, following his abduction along the Gilgil-Nakuru highway last night.

Mr Kiprotich was located by a Standard Group team led by the Group CEO Chaacha Mwita at around 6.30am near Masinga Dam, after being dumped by his captors in the early hours of the morning. He had sought refuge with a nearby family, who took him in and cared for him. He is safe, though understandably shaken by his ordeal.

We thank everyone who mobilised through the night to search for him, prayed for him, and stood with this Group and his family through an anxious few hours - including the household that opened its doors to him.
The circumstances of Mr Kiprotich's abduction remain deeply troubling, and we will continue to press for full accountability. We will share further information as it becomes available.

For now, we are simply grateful that Alex is safe.

CHAACHA MWITA,

GROUP CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER

The STANDARD GROUP PLC