aintnoway

[Gary “Grill Man” Whittman CFP. @GrillGary80085]

How the married chick at work looks when anyone mentions her husband at company happy hour

[ant @persistantz]

he tryna ignore how the days fade into one another
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[episode one @E1podcast]

donkey kong is a fool if he thinks wearing a tie will earn him respect

[dior ✞ @deeore5]

the older i get the heller the no

[‏ً @omgsidewalks]

whatever you choose to do when we’re not on good terms is what you’ve been wanting to do all along.

[Hernan Cortes @CyberPunkCortes]

He just paid all his bills. After he starts the car, turn on the check engine light.

[dropchris1000 @dropchris1000]

Steve Harvey: Name something that shoots out your penis

Me: Hmm I’m gonna say cum, Steve

Steve Harvey: What’s wrong with you?

[That Rabbit Guy @Son_ImSleep]

It’s niggas worth $17 living the same life Diggs living and it’s because everyone refuses to just accept that bitches be dumb

[™️Marcus  @TheMisterMarcus]

Mike Vrabel (sex) returns to Patriots on Monday.

[Sick @sickdotdev]

when Claude already wrote like 3k lines of code and I notice an error on my prompt

[Jackson Doud @JacksonDoud]

Dude behind me at lunch ordered “The usual.”

Got hit back with a “and that would be?”

Has to be absolutely devastating. Can’t even imagine.

[swinky @swinkying]

men just want a woman to tell them to shut the fuck up ❤️

[barrel rolls @barrel_rolls]

*bouncing behind my wife on a pogo stick*
a divorce!?

[cav empty @cavempty_]

the second best feeling in the whole world is when a girl runs her fingers through your hair. the best feeling is definitely besting a foe in a test of swordsmanship. he was careless, a lunge too far, an opening for my blade. you were formidable but never stood a chance

[vivi @vivitoodumb]

Ur weener isn’t rly small. The world is just really big.

[Tone Digs @ToneDigz]

I-right wiggle 34 switchblade. For the state championship. I love all y’all baby, I love all y’all.

[👩🏻‍⚖️ @fish_oiI]

Imma jack off all trades and masturbate none

[Crash Dummies Podcast @CrashDummiesPod]

Me to the bathroom attendant at the club after my 10th shot

[lonnie @aubreyplazawyd]

The elephant in the room has killed himself