THE ALMIGHTY DILF

born-again juggalo fighting for survival in the year 20XX

[THE ALMIGHTY DILF @YUNGxDILF]

Some guy stopped me in a crowd to tell me I look like Dave Grohl. Worst day of my life.

[THE ALMIGHTY DILF @YUNGxDILF]

No Mike, don't say it!

[THE ALMIGHTY DILF @YUNGxDILF]

Developing a new amber alert system that warns you when someone is listening to 311 nearby

[THE ALMIGHTY DILF @YUNGxDILF]

Baja blast got me absolutely ZAPPED

[Al Yankovic @alyankovic]

Family Guy, y’all.

[THE ALMIGHTY DILF @YUNGxDILF]

No disrespect to Sun Chips but cheddar isn't harvested

[THE ALMIGHTY DILF @YUNGxDILF]

Am I too old to become a castrato?

[THE ALMIGHTY DILF @YUNGxDILF]

Calling a song a banger used to mean something

[THE ALMIGHTY DILF @YUNGxDILF]

New jack swing, same as the old jack swing

[THE ALMIGHTY DILF @YUNGxDILF]

New Jeopardy category idea: Smokent Smokables

[THE ALMIGHTY DILF @YUNGxDILF]

Maybe sooner

[THE ALMIGHTY DILF @YUNGxDILF]

Once I hit 40 I think I'll start wearing a bunch of huge gold rings

[THE ALMIGHTY DILF @YUNGxDILF]

Shit on em like Dave Matthews

[THE ALMIGHTY DILF @YUNGxDILF]

Decided to go back to school for midwifery

[THE ALMIGHTY DILF @YUNGxDILF]

Wish I was a pro athlete so my teammates would spank my little butt when I did a good job

[THE ALMIGHTY DILF @YUNGxDILF]

Normalize naming your son "Guy LeDouche"

[THE ALMIGHTY DILF @YUNGxDILF]

I'm at Kid Rock's bar and I can confirm they serve bud light

[THE ALMIGHTY DILF @YUNGxDILF]

Can't believe none of the actors from Friends are dead yet

[THE ALMIGHTY DILF @YUNGxDILF]

*Thin Lizzy voice*
Vengaboys are back in town

[THE ALMIGHTY DILF @YUNGxDILF]

You can never get back all the time you spent playing Microsoft Solitaire