Ian Yapoport

[Ian Yapoport @YapSheet]

Team Farbman has officially traded for Katie McMahon, per sources

[Ian Yapoport @YapSheet]

@KevinThaKid Not only are you all of the above, but I fear you’re no longer “The Kid”

[Ian Yapoport @YapSheet]

If they don’t get limes soon, Harrison is going to blow up the Salty Nut Cafe

[Ian Yapoport @YapSheet]

Universitat Autònoma de Barcelona Junior Gavin Farbman has been ruled OUT for this weekend in Amsterdam due to a mysterious illness, per me.

[Ian Yapoport @YapSheet]

Breaking News🚨🚨

Brandon “Sandwich” Sloan has just announced he will be ordering lunch tomorrow. @sloan_schefter had it first

[Ian Yapoport @YapSheet]

Here’s what team captain Arianna Conroy had to say about the season:

“When we marched like Washington across the Strom bridge tonight, I could feel the energy in the air. I could smell blood in the water. We went out there, and took what’s ours and achieved eternal glory #touse”

[Ian Yapoport @YapSheet]

AND AKPSI ETCHES THEIR NAMES IN THE HISTORY BOOKS AND EARNS THEIR SPOT IN THE LEAGUE OF CHAMPIONS. A true team effort yet again, as the boys and girls dedicate this win to Font, Ron, Tosh, and JP.

[Ian Yapoport @YapSheet]

Gavin Farbman has officially RETIRED from RHDC. After a great career highlighted by 2 pie mans, 2 super counselors, a color war captain victory, and a league championship, Gavin’s number (6/7) will hang in the cave this season. He takes his talents to L’Oreal’s marketing division

[Ian Yapoport @YapSheet]

Here’s what Rahi, who has 5 tds in the last 2 games, had to say about his improvement:

“Ever since I’ve been sleeping in the warm embrace of Emmett’s arms, I feel like we’ve taken that next step on the field. Now I’m just waiting to take that next step off the field.”

[Ian Yapoport @YapSheet]

As the sun rises on a beautiful Tuesday morning, AKPsi wipes the crust from their eyes with the notion that they will be playing in the championship for a second straight semester. This tram says “they didn’t come this far just to get this far.” They’re hungry.

[Ian Yapoport @YapSheet]

We sat down with Ryan St. Clair after the game, who battled illness all night long. Here’s what he had to say:

“Nyquill, Dayquill, Quillbot, it don’t matter. AKPsi in 4”

[Ian Yapoport @YapSheet]

With another true team win, thanks to 3 tds from Rahi, an INT from Farb, a safety from Juice, a plethora of Grace first downs, and Emmett navigating the pocket all night long, AKPsi moves on to the Semi Finals tomorrow night during the personal finance workshop

[Ian Yapoport @YapSheet]

In a historic night, Ryan St. Clair drank a record breaking 87 beers, interrupted 100% of spelling bee words, threw 23 chairs off the balcony, ate 42 tacos, fought off an intruder, and still managed to fall asleep before 9:00. Saint has been listed as QUESTIONABLE for moonshine

[Ian Yapoport @YapSheet]

Gavin Farbman sealed the deal with his late game heroics with a fourth down toe tap touchdown to tie the game and a fake lateral spin move breakaway touch down to win it in OT. A true team effort from the chapter. As Saint says, “just keep dancing.” AKPsi did just that.

[Ian Yapoport @YapSheet]

When the world needed it most, AKPsi delivered with a MONUMENTAL victory to advance to the quarterfinals. Emmet delivered a magical performance evading pressure and making throws all day long. Juice with constant pressure all day. Grace “first down” Johnson. Allie with a big grab

[Ian Yapoport @YapSheet]

Austin McIntosh (a bitch) has been upgraded to ACTIVE for today’s tailgate, per me

[Ian Yapoport @YapSheet]

Michael sleeps with one sock on, per me

[Ian Yapoport @YapSheet]

Big time win from AKPsi to improve to .500 heading into the playoffs. The game wasn’t without controversy, however, as Josie Steed saw lulu and decided to mount an opposing player, claw the skin off her face, and the clothing off her body. Per league rules, she won’t be suspended

[Ian Yapoport @YapSheet]

True team win from AKPsi to clinch the playoffs this week. We caught up with newly elected Intramural Chair Grace Johnson after the game and here’s what she had to say:

“We been down a man for years with Cuso being in this fraternity, so being a man down tonight was nothing new”

[Ian Yapoport @YapSheet]

Star pass rusher Ryan St. Clair (bubonic plague) has been ruled OUT for tonight’s game