a woman with twins found out one fetus had died.
the other still had a heartbeat.
her doctor told her the truth:
โthis is dangerous. you could get infected. you could go septic.โ
she asked for termination because she already had two kids at home.
the hospital said:
โwe canโt terminate a pregnancy with a heartbeat.โ
so they sent her home.
she started leaking fluid.
then she started smelling โoff.โ
then she started running a fever so high she couldnโt think straight.
she came back.
the nurse said:
โyouโre anxious.โ
she said:
โiโm not anxious. iโm rotting.โ
they gave her Tylenol and a pamphlet.
she texted her friend:
โif i die, tell people it wasnโt god. it was the law.โ
she survived, barely.
after surgery. after ICU. after her uterus was destroyed.
and politicians still called it โsaving babies.โ
but what they saved was control.
and what they sacrificed was her body.
sometimes im like. being the tiny petite font of trans girl would be so good and then i hug someone with a waist small enough that i can fully wrap them in my arms and i melt a little
actively thinking about my best friend and sparring partner holding a knife to my skin, telling me that all i have to do is tap out and i wont get hurt ๐ตโ๐ซ๐ตโ๐ซ๐ตโ๐ซ
yea i got FOMO. fear of making out haha (realizing nobody will want to kiss me now) oh but i uh. was prescribed exposure therapy for it (worrying im forcing it now) my doctor says hand stuff is also chill tho