Bendaton

Forex Trader📉 Market Research&Analyst,Online financial trading,Profitable strategies&Exposition..📊📈 #Agbafian😎

[Àgbà John Doe @jon_d_doe]

This thread is going to be long.

So please take time to read it when you're able to.

Every generation is meant to stand on the shoulders of the one before it.

A good father desires his son to become not merely a copy of himself, but a better version of what he started.

Likewise, a loving mother hopes her son grows into a man of integrity, wisdom, and responsibility. The purpose of family is not stagnation but progress.

A father is often a son's first example of manhood. Whether through his successes, sacrifices, mistakes, or virtues, he teaches lessons that no classroom can fully replicate.

Looking up to one's father does not mean believing he is perfect. Every father is human and will have strengths and weaknesses. Rather, it means recognizing the value of his journey, his sacrifices, and the wisdom gained through his experiences.

A son who respects his father gains several advantages:

1. He learns discipline and responsibility.

2. He understands the value of hard work and perseverance.

3. He gains insight from lessons already paid for through his father's struggles.

4. He develops a sense of identity and belonging.

A wise son studies both what his father did right and what he did wrong. The father's victories become examples to follow, while his failures become lessons to learn from.

To become better than one's father is not an act of disrespect. In fact, it is one of the highest forms of honor.

A father who built a small business hopes his son builds a larger one. A father who attained a certain level of education hopes his son goes further.

A father who overcame poverty hopes his son experiences prosperity. Progress is the natural goal of every healthy family line.

Being "better" does not necessarily mean earning more money. It can mean:

1. Having greater emotional intelligence.

2. Being a better husband.

3. Being a more present father.

4. Living with more integrity.

5. Making wiser decisions.

The true measure of success is not merely wealth but becoming a more complete and mature individual.

If each generation only equals the previous one, society stands still. If each generation improves upon the last, families flourish.

A mother often makes sacrifices that are unseen and uncelebrated. She carries, nurtures, protects, teaches, comforts, and often puts the needs of her children above her own.

Honoring a mother involves more than words. It means:

1. Speaking respectfully to her.

2. Appreciating her sacrifices.

3. Supporting her when she grows older.

4. Protecting her dignity.

5. Showing gratitude for her role in your life.

A man's treatment of his mother often reveals much about his character. If he cannot appreciate the woman who raised him, it becomes difficult for him to fully appreciate other women in his life.

Honoring a mother does not require agreement with every opinion she holds. Mature honor can coexist with independent thinking.

A son can make his own decisions while still showing love and respect.

One of the most important decisions a man will ever make is choosing a wife.

A wife becomes:

1. A life partner.

2. A confidant.

3. A supporter during difficult seasons.

4. A co-builder of the family.

5. The future mother of his children.

A good wife contributes not only to a man's happiness but also to his growth and stability.

When choosing a wife, a man should evaluate qualities such as:

1. Character.

2. Kindness.

3. Emotional maturity.

4. Wisdom.

5. Loyalty.

Beauty may attract attention, but character sustains relationships.

A wise man understands that the person he marries will influence the direction of his life for decades. Therefore, choosing a spouse should be guided by wisdom rather than impulse.

[Bendaton @YekeenAzeez11]

@vee_anibe

[Bendaton @YekeenAzeez11]

@Walter_El_Marsh @AirtelNigeria Eeyah!! Na why you no dey online since last month, it's quite unfair
Send dm make I do 2GB 600# for you bro

[Àgbà John Doe @jon_d_doe]

If your mother is a divorcee, she's mostly not the best person to give you marriage advice.

If your father is a divorcee, he's still very qualified to give you marriage advise.

Women build homes, men lead homes.

If a builder fails, the leader will have no home to lead.

End.

[Àgbà John Doe @jon_d_doe]

One of the ways that you show love to your wife is by paying her back the debt which you owe her.

When it comes to finances in the home, your wife is naturally not supposed to participate in it.

But we know the economy is tough and women also work and earn.

You as a man and her husband should not let that stop you from doing what you're naturally supposed to do.

If you can't pay her all of it, pay in parts.

Always have at the back of your mind that you're more likely to die before your wife.

And when you're gone, your wife will take over, raise your children, and handle the finances. Even if you die without any tangible estate or inheritance.

She will not follow you to the grave, and life must go on.

If your wife earns money, be grateful to God for that, because you can always rely on her when you're down financially.

Relying on your wife is not the same as depending on your wife for survival.

However, you don't allow it to get to your head.

If you relax because your wife is helping you financially, sooner or later, you may see disrespect and possible cheating.

Because according to you, both of you are one.

Yes, you're one but both of you have different roles to play in the marriage.

She cannot be playing her roles and playing yours as well and you expect her to be happy.

Pay your wife the debt you owe her, and maintain your respect and submission.

Do all you can to preserve your source of livelihood and don't take unnecessary risks simply because you think your wife got your back.

And the truth is, you'll always owe your wife.

Even when you die.

End.

[Àgbà John Doe @jon_d_doe]

With the mindset of many Gen Z men, I hope some of you will not divorce your future wives if they lose their jobs.

I have said it many times: before you get married, have the 'I can do it alone' mindset. Do not decide to marry a woman mainly because she earns her own money.

Remove your eyes from her money and plan your future with her with your own money.

A woman's money is not sweet to taste.

A woman doesn't have to work to make money, before she qualifies to be a wife and mother.

If you're not ready to start thinking this way, please avoid marriage.

The fact that women get up to 4 months maternity leave (in some countries, more), should tell you that a woman's place of recognition and strength is mostly from being a mother, a home maker, a nurturer and a wife.

See her money as a bonus, or rather, an additional privilege to you.

Not your right.

Not your entitlement.

Not your inheritance.

Not your dependable source, but your reliable source.

A wife that is playing her roles effectively and efficiently, is not a liability.

I don't care what any of you wokist or "in saner" climes pundits want to say about this.

This is Africa. And Africa remains the true foundation of family values.

We educate women so that our society can be educated.

We raise women so that we can have families, responsible children and a home.

You cannot call your wife and mother of your children a liability, when you are hardly home, and she's there holding things down in your absence. That's an asset.

You young men must start to recalibrate your mindsets and avoid severe depression or consequences in the future in your marriage.

A woman will aways remain a woman.

End.

[Àgbà John Doe @jon_d_doe]

A married man shared his story of how his wife was complaining about him not being present because of his job.

Then he planned with his boss, & told his wife that he has resigned so he can be more present.

His wife didn't take it lightly, & went ahead to plead with his boss to reconsider.

What does that tell you?

She knows that as woman, she can ruin her marriage when her husband is unable to provide for her and the children.

But she was in her feelings when she was complaining, and she just voiced it out not minding the consequences of what she said.

I have always said that: women's greatest enemies is not their fellow women, but their feelings.

If you are not wise as a man, you'd do their bidding at the moment to please them, thinking that you're doing it because you love them.

They would deny you ooo.

Imagine if that man wasn't wise?

His wife would just start cheating and insulting him for being a useless husband and father.

You must stay 5 steps ahead of your wife as a man.

Listen to her, but make sure you weigh the consequences of acceding to her feelings.

Otherwise...

"Are you not a man?"

"Did I ask you to resign from your job?"

"Even if I did, are you not supposed to be the head of this house?"

"Stop crying like a child, you married me, so deal with it"

"Can't see your mates?"

End.

[Àgbà John Doe @jon_d_doe]

"Àgbà, if my boyfriend doesn't provide for me, how do I know that he would provide in marriage?"

If you want to know, go and cohabit with him and see how he takes charge of things. Also, study how he shows care to his siblings or parents.

If you go on dates, watch how he handles the bills. Then, observe whether he is always willing to pay back any debt he owes you.

It's not until he gives you a monthly salary, or pays your rent, or buys you expensive phones, bags, or hair that you'd be convinced.

A young man is not supposed to waste money like that. He's supposed to invest in his future.

And if you understand it and do right by him, that future investment would benefit both of you and your kids.

End.

[Àgbà John Doe @jon_d_doe]

It's very simple.

Once a lady is dating you for survival, she is going to cheat on you or cause you so much mental stress.

And this is more prevalent among under 25 ladies.

Because they're quite young, impressionable, broke, indecisive and adventurous.

As a grown man that wants to be serious with his relationship life, you need to be more logical and realistic with your choice bracket.

Employers do not just employ people because they're jobless.

They employ because they are looking for candidates who fit into the job role or description.

As a single man in his late 20s and in his 30s, see yourself as an employer.

And because you know that you're looking for a wife who would be the mother of your children, you must make sure that the woman fits into the role.

You can't be dating an under 25 with little or no experience or qualifications, and expect that you won't be burned or suffer loses.

The risk is far lesser with the above 25s.

Because most of them are now better focused, made their mistakes and learned from them.

They're now looking at being a wife and a mother.

1. Most are working and are graduates.

2. They're facing family and society pressure to bring a husband home.

3. Every failed relationship that they experience after 25, inches them closer to the end of their prime. So they want it to work.

4. They understand the value of money better.

5. They mostly feed themselves and hardly depend on their parents or siblings.

6. They know what to do most of the time, without being told or pushed to do them.

7. They're within the same generation bracket as you are.

These points are the logical and realistic things that you must consider before you go into a serious relationship.

Stop looking for tight totos.

All totos are elastic in nature, and even at 50, totos would still be tight and enjoyable.

And it doesn't have meter.

It's only a woman that can tell you how many penis has visited her toto.

You cannot guess by using her age.

What is visible, measurable and verifiable by you is her character, her upbringing and who her mother is.

I am telling you this as someone who knows a lot of things.

You may not like what I am saying, but this is exactly what I would tell my son when he comes of age.

Stop acting tasty and foolish around these young girls.

They're not on your level.

End.

[Àgbà John Doe @jon_d_doe]

Let me say this and I think I must have said it before.

If you're a virgin woman (whether you're above 25 or not), please do not tell any man that you're a virgin.

And do not tell him that you don't want sex until marriage.

Allow him to find out by himself, & let him decide if he wants to stay with you or not.

Just make sure that the man you're dating is someone you do not mind getting married to.

Don't waste your time losing your virginity that you decided not to lose when you were in your early 20s, to a man that is not worth it.

He should keep assuming that you have been having sex, until the day he discovers that you're a virgin.

He would respect you.

End.

[Bendaton @YekeenAzeez11]

@jon_d_doee Win win situation 😂🤣

[Àgbà John Doe (back up) @jon_d_doee]

Last night, I posted a DM from a married man who was assisted by this community in June of last year.

In his update, he said something:

"My wife is now more loving."

Yesterday morning, at the end of the thread I wrote, I had said something:

"When money is lacking, your marriage will never be the same, even if you are married to a good wife."

It was indeed a soul-lifting testimony coming from the man, and I bless God for using us as a vessel to restore his shield.

Provision is a man's shield, and his ego is his weapon.

When a man loses his shield, he loses the ability to enjoy his manly "privileges".

And so, he would resort to using his weapon (ego) to fight his inadequacies.

That is why he would lowkey resent his wife for doing what he knows he is supposed to be doing, but he doesn't have the money (shield) to do it.

Whether he's lazy or not, and even if he lost his shield through unfortunate circumstances. Some weeks ago, on the main page, I wrote a thread discussing how a couple (who are followers) got divorced.

Although I was disappointed and unhappy about the situation, I understood their circumstances.

The man was struggling to provide for his ex-wife and two kids, so she started a small business to feed the children.

Untop of that, the man was cheating carelessly and rubbing it on her face. He was also resenting his wife.

I know this because I had the privilege to get to know much about their marriage.

Each time she would come to my DM, I would plead with her not to leave her marriage. But her ex husband's ego wouldn't let him see how he was destroying their marriage, until it crashed.

I had once chatted with him to plead that he should be careful, but his ego would not let him. And so, he used it until her bride price was returned and all traditional rites were done.

When a man loses his shield, and his wife starts to act differently, it is not always because she is a bad wife. It's mostly because she is afraid of what might become of them should the situation not improve.

A wife is supposed to be worried about what to cook, not where the money to buy the food will come from.

A wife is supposed to be worried about how the children are doing in school and their academics. Not where the money to pay their fees would come from.

A wife should be worried about keeping their house clean and homely. Not where the money to pay the rent would come from.

If the wife is saddled with all these burden, and then saddled with how to make the money, she'll definitely Crack.

If you're not careful as a man, you'd think that you married a bad wife.

If you married a bad wife, why would she still be with you?

In most cases, your ego would be what would destroy the marriage.

And your lackadaisical attitude.

Stop wallowing in self-pity as a man.

Swallow your pride and ask for help, and roll up to sleeves to do whatever legitimate you can to be able to patch the Crack in your home.

Do not say that any job is too dirty or embarrassing for you to do. What is important is that you're moving forward and getting money to fulfill your responsibilities as much as possible.

And even if your wife is making millions, please keep giving her your thousands.

She would appreciate you, and return to the loving wife that you married.

AJD.

[Bendaton @YekeenAzeez11]

@jon_d_doee "I'm 26 she's 27"

I'm sure I'm not the only one that hissed

[Bendaton @YekeenAzeez11]

@WelBeast Omo!! just dey go Damaturu

[Bendaton @YekeenAzeez11]

@jon_d_doee God abegg!!
People dey go through a lot

[Àgbà John Doe @jon_d_doe]

You're providing for your wife, and sometimes, she disrespects you.

Then imagine when you can no longer provide?

Especially when the kids are still young.

Your wife may not necessarily cheat on you because you can no longer provide.

But you'll never deny that you will not notice the silent but loud disrespect & lack of submission that you'll experience.

Some wives have more patience than others.

Some may be lean, and others may be fat.

But what is more important for you as a man, is that you hold on to God and ask him to show you mercy, and change your situation before the disrespect becomes loud and bold.

If you are banking on the hope that she will "love" you, just as you love her, you'll be shocked.

Women don't love men.

They are only in love with what you can provide for them.

And this is why I keep telling you young men that transactional relationships are unhealthy.

Women will always love money.

But how you dated her, molded her without money, would go a long way in saving your marriage, should the unfortunate happen to you.

And almost every man would witness downtimes in his finances.

It could be early in your marriage or late in your marriage.

If it happens late in your marriage, do not think that your wife would continue to remember all your years of sacrificing and providing for her, till forever.

At some point, she would run out of patience, and you would start to experience another side of her.

So, what do you do as a man, when things go south for you?

First, if you're jobless as a married man, stop sitting at home.

Go out to wherever to find something to do to bring little money.

Even if the money is not enough to provide for the needs of your wife and kids.

Walka for nothing better pass to sidon for nothing.

Second, swallow your pride, and do not turn down any job offers because you feel it's beneath you.

As long as the job is legitimate, it would keep your mind and soul hopeful and would make your wife see you as that man that believes in providing for his family, even if what you're providing is not enough.

Thirdly, accept that certain things wound change in the dynamics of your home. But as long as your wife has not crossed the red line, remain in your marriage and be a father to your kids.

If your wife wants to use her hands to ruin the marriage because you're no longer the major provider, let it be her decision.

Lastly, if your wife decides to support you without rubbing it on your face, learn to appreciate her, but always remind her that what she's doing for you is a debt.

Even if you may never be able pay the debt.

Like I said, everything that you would witness in your marriage when it comes to finances, depend on how you led your wife during your relationship days.

Because that's the foundation.

Provision is a man's shield, and his ego is his weapon.

End.

[Bendaton @YekeenAzeez11]

#XAUUSD

[Àgbà John Doe @jon_d_doe]

I have a very important advice to give to young single men.

Some of you in this generation are very lucky to meet young girls who do not mind to be in a relationship with you, despite you not being financially okay.

Please do not use your insecurities to chase the girls away.

Stop comparing yourselves with your male friends that are better than you financially, & are in a relationship.

Do not tell any young girl that is interested in being with you, that you're not in the right place (financially) to be in a relationship with her.

Let her be the one to say that, or take a walk, if she is not okay being in a relationship with you, because you're broke.

As long as you're not lazy, you're chasing your goals, & you know that your future is going to be okay, please keep giving her hope.

Always remember, women have the gift of foresight.

When a woman decides to be with you, despite being broke, she's not saying that she is happy with you being broke.

She's saying that she's happy with where she sees that you're headed.

She wants to invest in you, sacrifice for you, and build with you.

As long as you do not make her feel "ugly", non attractive, or you're comparing her with other girls that are obviously looking better than she is, she'll be happy with being with you.

If you're arrogant, too judgemental and making her feel low, she'll start to consider better options, to prove to you that she's capable of being like those girls, and this will make her cheat on you.

Do not assume that because you're not giving her money, then another man is giving her money, until she proves you otherwise.

As long as she's living within her verifiable means, please appreciate her and work hard to give her the life that she has dreamt for both of you.

This was what I did.

I was able to sustain my relationship for 9 years because I didn't feel insecure, and I didn't push my lovely wife away.

2 years before I married her, suitors were coming. But I had already secured a good job, and she gave none of them a listening ear.

Her sacrifices and patience paid off.

My little wisdom and hardwork and dedication paid off too.

And we became husband and wife.

As long as you're focused, and as long as you have a solid girlfriend behind you, you'll come out of that stage of uncertainty, & both of you will look back to your days of humble beginnings.

Please stop feeling insecure.

Stop thinking that you do not deserve to be in a relationship because you're broke.

You do.

You have a dick.

You have a brain.

You're legit.

You're hardworking.

It's just a matter of time.

End.

[Bendaton @YekeenAzeez11]

@new_dawn67 @jon_d_doe She can forgive but she can't forget, she will pay back one day

[Àgbà John Doe @jon_d_doe]

I recall a DM that I shared one time from a young man.

His father was having financial problems for a long time.

So he decided to be coming home sparingly.

When he asked his father why he seldom came home..

"My son, I can't come back home to eat, if I cannot give your mother money to cook the food. The insult I get from your mother will not let the food digest in my stomach. I would rather eat the food that you or your brother provided money for".

Every man has an ego.

Some men have unfortunately accepted their fate, and some would rather stay away, to avoid the humiliation.

A woman's money is not sweet to taste.

And they don't give free money to men.

Especially men that are supposed to be their providers, & sleeping with them.

If she shelters you, one day she will remind you that you're a "visitor".

If she feeds you, one day she will remind you that you are eating free meals.

The fact that you may observed this from your home when you were still under your parents, & that they're still together, doesn't mean your father was happy throughout.

He either did not have a choice, or he became too relaxed & used to the subtle insults & humiliation.

And your father will never advice you to be in his position.

Yes, he will praise your mother for her years of kindness towards him, but he'll tell you not to depend on a woman for such things.

And you shouldn't.

For you single young men,

Start preparing yourselves for the task ahead of you.

Tell yourselves that you can do it through Christ that strengthens you.

If you marry a woman that is also making money, be happy with your choice.

But only rely on her money, and not depend on it.

Learn to appreciate your wife whenever she does things for you, the house, or for the children.

Learn to pay her back, if not in full, but in part.

By doing so, you're telling her that you appreciate her support and kindness. And that you know it's your responsibility to provide for her.

Your wife is not making money for you.

She's making it for herself and your children.

There a many things that she would be doing with her money, that may not be visible to you.

But she's helping you.

Where you'd miss it, is when you start to act entitled to her money, & start demanding that she also plays your role because she's your wife.

If your wife tells you to start sharing the cooking, cleaning, nursing, nurturing etc with her, would you be happy doing it?

Roles can be flexed, but they're not interchangeable.

And this is the natural order.

God is nature.

End.