hot cocoa

more espresso less depresso

[@awejones @awejones]

Gossip? Oh you mean trickle down yaponomics

[Case @Cactuscali19912]

Dolly I'm actually working 8-5, please help.

[Ed @eddo75]

Lost my Thesaurus. Gutted. Really gutted. Like absolutely gutted.

[putasinghonit @putasinghonit]

“yeah it was good thanks. quiet one. feels good to get back to some normality if im honest haha”

[American Museum of Natural History @AMNH]

Who needs a blue check when you have a BLUE WHALE?

[National Park Service @NatlParkService]

When you encounter others on a trail, offer a friendly “hello” or a nod. This helps create a friendly atmosphere. If you approach a trail user from behind, announce yourself in a friendly, calm tone. Yelling “that chipmunk stole my car keys, run for your lives” is not helpful.

[Washington State Dept. of Natural Resources @waDNR]

We're hiring influencers and by that I mean firefighters who influence the forest to no longer be on fire.

[brooke @BlokyzzOriginal]

Sorry I’m 3 hours late someone was watching me parallel park

[Duolingo @duolingo]

I don’t need to BeReal I need to BeAggressive

[Awful Fan-Made Movie Posters @AWFULfanPOSTERS]

#ZeldaMovie

[Ernie @SesameErnie]

My favorite chore is washing the dishes. It's like bathtime for your plates. 🍽️🫧

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Experts Say Severe Weather Will Continue Until Gargantuan Child Shaking Earth’s Snow Globe Calms Down https://t.co/ZmcEGp3Kn7

[Hank Green @hankgreen]

It's about chocolate, it's about flour, we eat cookies, we devour.

[Kehinde🌍☄️💕 @kehindee_b]

are you http? because I’m :// without you

[Serine ⵣ @SerineZaa]

It costs 1( one ) click to retweet my art for my birthday 🥺💛🎂

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Curiosity Rover Frantically Driving Around Mars To Make It Look Like It’s Been Busy Before New Spacecraft Arrives https://t.co/6JzKTR753D

[CEO of Corn Pop 🌽 🍽 @ceocornpop]

Jeff Bezos only got a divorce because he realised his marriage was a union.

[Zoah Hedges-Stocks 🎠 @Zoah_HS]

THIS IS NOT A FINANCE ACCOUNT. I DO NOT HAVE ANY TRADING ADVICE.

HEDGES-STOCKS IS MY SURNAME.