Argh!
Matt's clenched fists start attacking his own face. Punching and punching and punching. It hurts but he can't stop because deep down he knows he deserves so much worse.
Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid...
FUCK! How did it get to this? I wasn't always like this, right? I can't even tell anymore...
Shoulders are heavy with guilt and grief. His throat, it hurts. It's hard for him to speak but he has to say the words.
I'm so sorry, I'm so fucking sorry.
The hard line of his jaw doesn’t waver, brows knit together in a heavy line as he scowls.
At least it finally looks like he’s gotten through to the arrogant fuck.
He's on his knees, eyes pleading with Mello to... to what? Even he doesn't know what Mello can do for him at this point. Maybe he's hoping against all hope that his partner hasn't forsaken him completely.
...
Shame and guilt welled up inside of him. He's always been a fuck up, but this...with this he's no different from Kira. Cue the self loathing.
He can't speak. It feels like he has a huge lump jammed in his throat. He can't even bring himself to look at Mello.
You don’t realize what a cause for concern that is? You’re unhinged, and putting you in charge of critical police investigations when you could just as easily fuck them up is a recipe for getting more people dead who don’t need to be dead.