It's me!

[It's me! @YourFavoriteJew]

In my next life, @ActuallyNPH will be my father. You wish your family was that awesome.

[It's me! @YourFavoriteJew]

I mean, it's been a while since we weeded a few out, right? #EbolaOutbreak

[It's me! @YourFavoriteJew]

The oldies station played Macarena tonight. #DONE!

[It's me! @YourFavoriteJew]

@kellyecsnyder shouldn't have fucking blinked, man.

[It's me! @YourFavoriteJew]

Hello, I want my book. Bonjour, je veux mon livre.

[It's me! @YourFavoriteJew]

@kellyecsnyder

[It's me! @YourFavoriteJew]

Mother in law is moving out of state in three weeks. 28 days...

[AQUARIUS Astrology @AquariusUnite]

#Aquarius have been disappointed so many times, not giving a fuck is now almost a reflex.

[It's me! @YourFavoriteJew]

You're raising a 16 and pregnant star...

[It's me! @YourFavoriteJew]

I wish it was socially acceptable to spank other people's kids for them.

[AQUARIUS Astrology @AquariusUnite]

An #Aquarius likes putting others first, making them happy and being appreciated.

[It's me! @YourFavoriteJew]

Face planted at work. Thank god for thunder thighs, surprised it didn't break. Cried like a baby....

[It's me! @YourFavoriteJew]

The bf needs some nerdy male friends. Apparently so do the other nerdy bf's of the chicks at work. Been setting up play dates for grown men

[It's me! @YourFavoriteJew]

I got nursing school fat. It's a special fat. One where you eat with one hand, while the other holds a lab book, or a care plan book.

[It's me! @YourFavoriteJew]

@HoopTilIDie weird. I just fb stalked you a little bit ago...

[It's me! @YourFavoriteJew]

Nothing is as awkward as every clinical mate watching you do a treatment they have never done. It's like half super nurse, half porn star.

[It's me! @YourFavoriteJew]

People always ask what I need at work. I answer hug, and I still haven't gotten a damn hug, people!

[It's me! @YourFavoriteJew]

I'm going to be really pissed when I graduate nursing school and my life isn't like Scrubs or House.

[It's me! @YourFavoriteJew]

It may be easier to lose weight and strip than to finish nursing school...

[It's me! @YourFavoriteJew]

Dude is here installing cable. Goodbye, everyone. Nice knowing you.