Lola

You're beautiful ♥️

[Lola @YourGlambert]

I am sorry. I am truly sorry. I am sorry you came across me.

[Lola @YourGlambert]

I don't matter, I'm not loved, I wasn't a good person, I tried to be but no one accepted me so l must have been not that great. I was annoying, loud, said the wrong things the wrong time, tried so hard to be accepted but was always rejected. Always seemed awkward & lame.

[Lola @YourGlambert]

I was destined on this earth to be a way for you to go to heaven with having to tolerate me. I am sorry for ever being in your life. All of you. Family, acquaintances, work colleagues, anyone that has ever talked to me or known of me.

[Lola @YourGlambert]

And on that note, journal-tweeting over for the night. See you tomorrow.

[Lola @YourGlambert]

No one in my real life knows this account exists, but I’ll them know before I do it. As well as my other social media, it has everything I’ve ever hidden from you, everything I was scared you’d find, my secrets, my misbehaving, hope it can make you hate me enough to not blame me

[Lola @YourGlambert]

It’s so funny, it’s as small as me losing so much weight these days, everyone is cheering for me & I cheer back to go along, when in fact I don’t eat for days because I can’t look at food. It makes me wanna vomit. I don’t know why. I just hate it. I crave things for a moment

[Lola @YourGlambert]

What’s the point of taking them yknow? I’m burnt out. No will. No fight. No energy. No care. I’m not able to be a good friend, a good daughter, a good sister, a good anything. I’m sorry everyone, I’ll ease the burden for you very soon.

[Lola @YourGlambert]

I’m writing here because not a single soul in my real life knows about this, so this will be my little diary, I tried writing on papers. I have so many, but here I feel like after I’m gone, maybe my loved ones will know i never meant to hurt them, I was hurting deep down myself.

[Lola @YourGlambert]

Everyone around me thinks I’m doing things I’ve always wanted to do because I’m enjoying life again, when in fact it’s because I’m planning to leave soon so I wanna experience it all before I’m gone. I already know how I’m gonna do it, when I’m gonna do it, where as well.

[Lola @YourGlambert]

I really believe god made everyone leave my life to give me the peace to end it all without worrying about being selfish, I know my parents are the only people I should be worried about but their health is declining & they might leave before I do, so again, No point in anything

[Lola @YourGlambert]

Life was never good to me & I was never good to myself, I don’t have the energy to even fight anymore or have hope for a better future. Even if god had better stuff in store for me in a few years, I don’t have it in me to wait anymore. I’m taking the easy way out I can’t

[Lola @YourGlambert]

Anymore, it was the most peaceful I’ve felt in a decade. I genuinely started enjoying my days, laughing, being myself, not caring about a single thing or a single person, because I know I’m not gonna be here for long. So why care yknow? I’m really at peace with the world rn.

[Lola @YourGlambert]

Tbh the only reason I stayed alive this long is for my lil bro, but now it seems like I’m not doing much for him no matter how much I try, so no reason for me to stay really. I’ve been waiting for reaching this breaking point for years, and the second I decided that I won’t go on

[Lola @YourGlambert]

At this point the dr of the hotline calls me before I call him every night to check it I’m still alive & haven’t off’d myself yet, soon babe soon, just need to achieve one more thing to know I at least didn’t have a sorry excuse of a life for a few days.

[Lola @YourGlambert]

Suicide hotline has been my best friend for the past 3 weeks ✌🏻✌🏻

I’m gonna vent here from now on since I have no real life friends anymore & everyone I had here is inactive at this point lmao

Glad I remembered Twitter existed