Patrick Christopher

I used to rock, but now I mock.
#barbacoacore

[Patrick Christopher @YourHomiePat]

Fresh out of my therapy session. I've finally mastered the art of dry crying.
Who's da man now?!?

[Patrick Christopher @YourHomiePat]

Oh No. Let's Panic. #facebookdown

[Patrick Christopher @YourHomiePat]

I'm not sure who needs to hear this, but you need another wipe.

[Patrick Christopher @YourHomiePat]

I wonder if Taylor Swift plans on retiring.

[Patrick Christopher @YourHomiePat]

Has It ever happened in television history to re-name an old show to re-release it under a new (non-problematic) name? Cause I sure could binge-watch "The Huxtables" right about now.

[Patrick Christopher @YourHomiePat]

I'm an old soul, but young at heart. I started going bald before I had pubes.

[Patrick Christopher @YourHomiePat]

I finally watched the #BarbieMovie   , and I totally agree with it's message...
#MatchboxTwenty rulez.

[Patrick Christopher @YourHomiePat]

I've been reading books by Feminist Aurthors. Because it's important to get the female's perspective, but in a male voice.

[Patrick Christopher @YourHomiePat]

When I "take care of myself" without using the internet, just off 🎶Pure Imagination🎶, I call that Willy Wanka.

[Patrick Christopher @YourHomiePat]

Women don't let you merge. What they want most in life, they don't do in traffic.

[Patrick Christopher @YourHomiePat]

Girl Math: Solve for WHY?

[Patrick Christopher @YourHomiePat]

You've heard of Elf on the Shelf, now STFU.

[Patrick Christopher @YourHomiePat]

TONIGHT at Upstage Comedy Lounge.
THE DARK SHOW
Featuring some of the Funniest Comedians and their Dark and Edgy material.
Audience Participation Welcomed!!!
#sanantonio #friday #night #comedyshow #sanantoniocomedy #dark #edgy #standupcomedy #audienceparticipation #win #prizes

[Patrick Christopher @YourHomiePat]

If White Claws are a ladies beverage, then why am I a better driver after 12 of them?

[Patrick Christopher @YourHomiePat]

Don't mistake my weakness for weakness.

[Patrick Christopher @YourHomiePat]

Yo. I've been out of therapy for a couple months now, so don't ask me "how you doing?" unless you mean that sh*t.

[Patrick Christopher @YourHomiePat]

Stand-up Comedy Was Beautiful and Nothing Hurt... suck it Vonnegut.

[Patrick Christopher @YourHomiePat]

La Lucha (The Struggle) Open Mic Night.
Every Wednesday @ElLuchadorBar
El Luchador Sign up in person at 6:30pm.
Show starts at 7:00pm.
5 minutes of stage time per comic.
#thestruggleisreal #sanantonio #comedy #openmic #standupcomedy #sanantoniocomedy #openmicnight

[Patrick Christopher @YourHomiePat]

My comedy sets are like my handshakes, 1 out of 5 times they're awkward and sweaty. #comedy

[Patrick Christopher @YourHomiePat]

November is #NationalDiabetesMonth. The day after the biggest candy holiday is National Awareness of Diabetes Month. They are really cutting us off at the knees with this BS.