michael helak

[michael helak @YungMikeH]

@WhiteHouse All this for a pedophile rapist 😂 Teddy Roosevelt would’ve beat the breaks off this fucking loser

[michael helak @YungMikeH]

BREAKING: President Trump orders DOGE audit of NASA.
“Their budget is huge, people would say too huge. If we’ve been to space & moon where is the evidence? Why don’t we have more cheese?”

[michael helak @YungMikeH]

Last time I used this it was still twitter so I need to be filled in. Am I “Exing” when I post here now? Is there a way I can restrict myself to 160 Characters?

[michael helak @YungMikeH]

Some of ya’ll have never had to organize books by the Dewey Decimal System and it shows 😗💅🏼

[cal? @cal_gif]

This is the funniest fucking video that exists

[michael helak @YungMikeH]

Trump must be real salty about not getting to own the Bills. Man would rather start a world war than watch us win a playoff game! #Billsmafia

[michael helak @YungMikeH]

If you're talking to a woman over 30 with colored hair, just get out of that convo you will most likely offend them at some point

[michael helak @YungMikeH]

Say what you will about NASCAR, but my Jeff Gordon year has been way better than my Michael Jordan year and it's only been a month

[Dalai Lama @DalaiLama]

Compassion brings inner peace and whatever else is going on, that peace of mind allows us to see the whole picture more clearly.

[michael helak @YungMikeH]

In Florida even the adults think WWE is real

[michael helak @YungMikeH]

Tampa channel 8 news totes itself on being the most convenient. How is that something you're bragging about?!

[michael helak @YungMikeH]

@johansson_anton Thank you!

[michael helak @YungMikeH]

When you tweet something solid but need to let it ferment in the drafts until it becomes even more solid*

*being drunk enough to tweet it

[michael helak @YungMikeH]

Really thought I went past an ad for a milk brand called nipple. I was like sonnn, I gotta stop scrolling so fast!

[michael helak @YungMikeH]

" I GOT A HALO! Can't finish full oranges so I bought these doe."

[michael helak @YungMikeH]

The allure of being able to pee anywhere fades with age knowing I can be labeled a predator if the wrong person sees my dick. Ugh adulting

[michael helak @YungMikeH]

Real reason why i strayed away from the rap genre?
I'm just sick people stealing my bitch and taunting me about it.

[michael helak @YungMikeH]

"I eat ass" printed above a pic of a sandwich made with only the butt end of the bread on a t shirt. Sandwich insides are customizable.

[michael helak @YungMikeH]

That last day of vacation depression is setting in

[michael helak @YungMikeH]

@Brendan_Hoare14 @starwars @DisneyParks Yeah this shit is looking tiiiightt!